


Fault Lines

by dream_fire



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: 26th Hunger Games, Angst, District 8 (Hunger Games), Hunger Games, Hunger Games-Typical Death/Violence, The Capitol (Hunger Games)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:34:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 35,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26519068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dream_fire/pseuds/dream_fire
Summary: A story of how one escort for the Hunger Games unlearned the Capitol propaganda and how a girl from District 8 won the Hunger Games.
Comments: 19
Kudos: 3





	1. How It Started

OPENFILEFOLDER TITLED-SUICIDE NOTE

FILE AUTHOR(S): RELINA, ROSEMARY

OPENFILETITLED-PENANCE

FILE AUTHOR(S): RELINA

My name is Relina. I'm from a country called Panem and I'm keeping this on an encrypted server that can be opened at a later date. If this was found by anyone right now I could be tortured, killed, imprisoned or whatever punishment my government would deem proper for me.

I don't know how it is in the future but right now the state of humanity is pretty bleak. A long time ago wars and a series of natural disasters wrecked what was once called North America. The people left behind divided themselves into thirteen districts and the Capitol. The history books like to say that the Capitol ruled the districts kindly and generously but why would the districts revolt if that was the case? After the war known as "The Dark Days" and the thirteenth district was destroyed the Capitol created something called the Hunger Games. A boy and a girl between the ages of 12 and 18 from each surviving district would be taken and placed in an arena to kill each other with only one survivor. A victor. It didn't take long for the Capitol to start treating it like some sick twisted pageant. I used to help with this pageant and I sent children to their deaths.

I was okay with it at first but it didn't take long for me to realize that what a horrible thing we were doing. I can't believe I sent seven children to their deaths. 

I'll tell you a story. 

My story. About how I woke up.

CLOSEFILETITLED- PENANCE

OPENFILETITLED-HOW IT STARTED

FILEAUTHOR(S): Relina

In just twenty-four hours it would be Reaping Day, and I had been incredibly excited for it. I stared up at the ceiling of my apartment watching morning light slowly seep in through the cracks in my curtains. I began making mental notes of all the things I had to do today before I left from the Capital for District 8, the district I was escorting at the time. I had to pack a bag, meet a friend for lunch, get dressed and apply a layer of makeup. The few weeks surrounding the Hunger Games used to be a exciting for me. I thought it was a righteous and kind thing to "Give my tributes the chance to enjoy the Capitol and potentially get rich if the tributes won." All I cared about at the time was fame, money and the illusion of kindness.

For the first decade or so of Games the Capitol didn’t view it as a celebration at all. They threw the tributes into a pit for a few days and had them fight it out but in about ten years things had changed. Scientists had developed ways to create a controlled environment for the tributes to fight in. There was no risk of any tributes being able to escape now or for ambitious mentors to give their tributes an advantage through less than legal means. It became something of a pageant that people wanted to watch. I was born after the Dark Days ended so I don’t remember much of that first decade--which leads me to my current view of the Games. Despite this view, the relative recency of that first decade and by extension the Dark Days I sometimes got this feeling of unease about the Hunger Games.

I bounced out of bed and down the photo lined hallway which showed off various birthdays, parties, graduations and other important events from my childhood. At the end of the hall was my kitchen and living room, so I entered the kitchen to start my day. Making my own breakfast was something I had to get used to. At home my parents had half a dozen avoxx's and they always did everything for me but when I moved out I had to figure out everything for myself. They’re a part of the Games too but they have a less visible role in it, although they did make plenty of money from it. They had decided I wasn’t qualified enough for a role like theirs so they sent me off to escort school. It’s lucky my parents came into wealth following the Dark Days or else my position as an escort would be seen as laughable. We aren’t one of those old and influential families so we had more leeway in what we could and couldn't do. It was also lucky that I wasn't 'good' enough because then I would have been responsible for more deaths than I already had.

Once I finished making breakfast I plopped down on my favorite loveseat and turned on the TV. The hologram flickered to light and the games commentators were not discussing that year’s Games but last year’s, the very first Quarter Quell. I had assumed people would talk about our games while they were going on but I guess something as big as a Quarter Quell is hard not to talk about. I’d been guilty of doing that myself but I had hoped others would resist that temptation. I was also upset that my tributes from last year hadn't made it very far. They didn't even stand a chance. They left school to support their families and had been factory workers.

“For those who don’t know after the Dark Days the first administration of Game Makers created dozens of different twists on the usual games for each quarter quell,” Brutus Marblesmith explained.

“I'm very excited to see what’s in store for us but it’s a tight kept secret,” the other commentator said, “what do you all think, what’s next for our great games?”

“Something big I hope!” I said to myself excitedly.

After breakfast I set aside the dishes and walked back to my bedroom. The closet was lined with various outfits and pairs of shoes that made me dizzy, even then. The escort school I had attended sent graduates away with a variety of outfits to wear during the games. We had some choice from their wide selection of clothing but we all had to take a minimum number of which. These were supposed to last us at least ten years and afterwards we'll receive a whole new set to last us another ten. I never made it to the the next set. 

After readying myself I pulled on a midnight blue dress embroidered with butterflies and flowers in various colors. It came with a corset like contraption with life-like wildflowers attached to it. Pulling on a dress, jewelry, and shoes was one thing, but hair and makeup is another thing. It takes a long time to cover every birthmark, freckle and blemish and apply the rest of the makeup. My hair was on the unconventional side for escorts, it’s a deep auburn as opposed to the normal variety of candy colors. It’s not that I disliked the style, I just thought it would be good to stand out and make my mark. In this case, dressing more low-key and not dying my hair was the key to do this.

The next time I checked the clock, it was time for lunch. So I grabbed my handbag and walk out onto the street. My apartment was in the trendier area of the city, young people moved there in packs to the point where rent is impossibly high to the lower classes of the Capitol. Aside from it’s trendier nature it was in the updated portion towards the center of town. The city is constantly expanding to make room for new dance halls, restaurants, and shops but eventually they’re left to decay. The people living towards the edge of the city end up having to pay the costs to have everything kept up to date themselves.

My friend and I had planned to meet at a small coffee shop that was usually less crowded then coffee shops closer to my apartment. The amount of people on the streets started to thin out as I reach the shop. It was a pastel yellow several story building painted with floral coffee mugs. The owners and staff all live in the floors above the shop in order to save money. Out front small tables with chairs and flower pots were scattered around the veranda of the café. A few students and businessmen who sat around the inside glanced up as I entered and the door chimed. 

“A cappuccino and a muffin please,” I said as I pay Orion, the barista.

“Relina over here!” 

I took my order from the barista and made my way back to the back of the shop. Sitting there in all her glory was Hadrianna who escorted District Seven, which had had a victor the previous year. The boy, Asher I think his name was, managed to create traps from the branches of trees out of materials he managed to woo out of sponsors. Two years my senior, she always seemed to know what to do more quickly. I’d always jealous of her experience. 

“So tell me, how are things going with Orion?” She whispered and glanced carefully over her shoulder at him. 

“I don’t know, he’s always so busy working here that we’ve barely gone on a few dates,” I admitted.

“Come on, he’s gotta do better than that,” Hadrianna complained.

“I know, let’s just not talk about it.”

“Don’t avoid the subject,” She said playfully.

“We can talk about it later when he’s not ten feet away from us,” I said.

“Fine,” She whined, “What sort of tributes do you think we’ll get this year?”

“Hopefully someone good, I can’t have you build that winning streak now can I?” I joked.

“Guess not, but I have to admit I think Asher was just a flook,” Hadrianna admitted, “As good as he was with the sponsors he didn’t have much going on up there if you know what I mean.”

I gave a small laugh and nodded. “Pretty much all my tributes are like that, it’s always sewing this and factory that. They’re never good at survival or working with the sponsors.”

“Well, here’s to Seven and Eight,” Hadrianna lifted her coffee cup like a champagne glass. “May the odds be in their favor.”

We clinked mugs and chatted aimlessly for a while, about parties we’d been to, anticipating the Games and other gossip. We had decided last year to make this our little tradition before each Games. We both knew that during the weeks they took place all we’d want to do or think about involved the tributes. So we’d want one last bit of contact with the outside world before diving head first into that crazy world of the Games. 

“Well I don’t know about you but I’ve got to get home and pack,” Hadrianna said.

“Yeah, me too, I’ll see you at the station.”

I waved at her as I made the walk back to my apartment. After the elevator stopped at the top floor, I swiftly walked into the hallway of my apartment and pulled out a suitcase from a side closet. The clothes I would wear at the training center were already there, but I had to pick something out for tomorrow and the day we arrived back at the Capitol. I spent much of the rest of the evening packing and having a quick dinner before catching a cab to the train station. 

The fashion that year was to dye your hair blue or purple, so Hadrianna was hard to find. As adept as she was at her job she still liked to follow the crowd and blend in. I found her standing with the escort for nine, a women who was several years older than me. I'd never had the chance to meet her before but I had heard rumors about her. They said she came from a rich old family that had become destitute since the Dark Days and that it had never really recovered--unlike the Snow family. They said strange things about how her family managed to survive that long.

“Luci, this is my friend Relina Crescent,” Hadrianna said.

“You’re Relina,” Luci said with a false shocked tone.

“Yeah?”

“With parents that high up I’d expected you to look a lot different,” She said.

“I guess.”

“But I guess that’s what happens when your parents aren’t there to properly raise you. Let me know if they’d be willing to do me and my family a favor, we’d really appreciate it,” Luci turned and walked towards her train. She gave me a condescending look and then stepped through the doorway. 

“What’s her problem,” I retorted after she was out of earshot.

“She’s usually nicer than this, I don’t know what got into her,” She said.

“That’s a lie and you know it,” I huffed. “Look I haven't exactly heard anything nice about her and you probably shouldn't hang around her. Nothing good will come out of a friendship with Luci Williamson."

Before Hadrianna could put in another word I quickly weaved myself through the crowd towards my train. I glanced behind me at Hadrianna while one of the workers from the train took my bag, she had a dumbfounded look on her face when I stepped through the threshold. The worker slipped by me once I was comfortably inside the lobby-like cabin that adorned every entrance. The train was by no means up to the trends in interior design but that’s what I liked about it. I could never quite put my finger on why I wanted something different but that’s just the way things are I guess.

My room had been remodeled since the previous year, the walls that were once a blinding white were now painted pale yellow. My double bed got pushed underneath the windows where lacey white curtains now hung. The rest of the room looks practically the same, the classic makeup table, wardrobe, television stand and television port. My suitcase somehow made it to the room before I did, so I spent the rest of the evening packing away my clothes. 

I'd normally wait for one of the workers to do it while I was in the main television car but I wanted to get my mind off Luci and Hadrianna. My mind was racing and I couldn't understand why someone from a good family would mix with people like the Williamsons. Hardrianna and I rarely fought and I just didn't know why I blew up at her. There's nothing I could do to change it then but I wanted to make Luci regret what she said to me and to teach Hadrianna a lesson. No matter how much I think about I can't understand my mindset at the time. Why was that what I thought and worried about? Regardless of why I did what I did and thought what I thought, I wanted to win.

That night I slept like a baby, not even thinking about what I was about to do. I miss being able to do that. 

CLOSEFILETITLED-HOW IT STARTED


	2. The Last Good Day

OPENFILETITLED- WHAT HE LEFT BEHIND

FILEAUTHOR(S): ROSEMARY

Relina and I talked about recording all this for months, in a code we developed during the victory tour of course, but I still worry about what will happen if this server is uncovered too soon. Unlike Relina I have a family to worry about or at least the fractured remains of one. The year of my Games my brother died there and in a way a part of me died too. 

I was fifteen. He was seventeen.

Somedays the ache created by the hole he left behind is so much that I can't get out of bed. Others it feels like nothing happened at all. I've numbed myself to the point that I can occasionally ignore what the tragedy. Then something that remind me of him will appear and all that work I did will be for nothing.

Maybe if this can teach a lesson to people in the future they won't make the same mistakes we did. I was forced to do what I did by the systems in place but I haven't done anything yet. I'm too afraid to but maybe this small act of rebellion, of writing something down will be enough. It has to be.

It has to be.

CLOSEFILETITLED- WHAT HE LEFT BEHIND

OPENFILETITLED-THE LAST GOOD DAY

FILEAUTHOR(S): ROSEMARY

It was the last day of school before Reaping Day. We never really did anything on that day, we just talked and joked about what we would do if we were chosen. More than anything though, I just wanted to go out to the sports field and run around with my friends. We were all a bit old to do it but our track team is where I fitted in the most. We didn’t really have that much equipment and the things did we have was worn down from years of use, just like the school I suppose. Sure we had the required desks and lunch tables but there wasn't much else. Despite the lack of pretty much everything I still miss those days--There wasn't anything complicated to deal with.

When the bell rang the team and I walked outside to the storage shed and pull the hurdles into a line on the field. There’s nine of us on the team. A few twelves, a thirteen, two fourteen, myself, and two sixteens. Once children reached reaping age in my district most kids took up shifts right out of school. We were required to take a shift but not a full eight hour one like the adults do. So us kids do played or stayed at home to take care of younger siblings when we weren't at the factory. 

“I’m gonna beat you,” Dottie said as soon as everything was set up.

“You say that every time,” I said. “But in all seriousness, I've got to get home to help out soon.”

“I’ll make it so quick that you won’t even know what hit you,” She replied in a singsong voice.

“Whatever you say.”

We lined up and then set out running. I'd always been light on my feet and pretty fast so I reached hurdles first. With the momentum I'd built I made the jumps but Dottie was bigger than me was on my heels. I quickened my pace even though I thought I’d be out of breath by the last hurtle. If I was out of breath I never made the last hurdle and I never made it through the old monkey bars. That I should say is part of what I thought I would rely on if I was reaped. Being fast means the careers can’t catch you and if you run a specific way it’s so much harder to hit you with a long range weapon. I was right of course but I didn't realize the full scope of it at the time.

Finally I reached the last hurtle and made the jump. I made it somehow and kept moving forward. The noises around me faded away and I pulled myself quickly across the bars. When I reached the end I turned around to see that Dottie had just reached the last hurtle. I’m panting and sweating a little but she’s sweating and red in the face. A lot of people have trouble with the monkey bars, including Dottie. Once she’d reached the end Dottie needed to catch her breath while the rest of the group jogged over to meet us.

“This won’t be the last time,” She pants. 

“I look forward to it,” I say.” How about this you, me, here after the reaping tomorrow? Sound good?”

“Perfect.”

The streets weren't as crowded as usual today, everyone was piling into factories to meet their mandatory quotas. Normally makeshift 'vendors' would drag an old table onto the street and try to sell their wares. There were still a few out that because most of them were people deemed unfit to work in the factories. This was practically their only source of income and I can bet that once night falls the peace keepers dragged them into another one of their group homes. As I walked down the block I caught sight of a large piece of fabric hanging over one of those tables. 

I walked closer to the small space between the two sets of stairs that let to apartment buildings. This piece of fabric I noticed was actually covered in embroidery. This embroidery covered up the fact that the blanket of sorts was actually made from several different pieces of colored cloth. I glanced up at the 'shop owner' only to see Fray, my older brother, trying to sell it to a peacekeeper.

"I'll pay you 300 for it," The keeper said, "You're not gonna get better from anyone, nobody around here has that kind of money."

"It's a deal," Fray said and took the money the keeper gave him.

"So, how long have you been selling this sort of thing? I ask in a sly voice.

"Don’t tell Mom and Dad.”

"Don't worry I won't," I said," But you can't let peacekeepers rip you off like that again."

"I kept a piece," He answers and pulls out a smaller version of the fabric.

He gives me a smile before folding up the table and hauling it with us down the street to our building. Despite his protests I take the table and carry it the rest of the way home.

"Where'd you get all this from anyway?"

"Found them in a ditch over by factory three."  
__________

The noises of the textile machines were blaring in my ears. My family had to take an extra shift before the reaping, something about how underprepared they were for the Quarter Quell last year and how they didn't want to make the same mistake. I doubted that they would actually use what we were making because it would be considered 'out of style' in twenty four years. I still think about what happened to the last few things I helped with. Are they sitting in some warehouse back in the poorer parts of Eight? I didn’t mind the extra shifts, they were just a little extra money in our pockets. Fray and I had always signed up for the tesserae considering how big my family was but in two years he was going to be too old to sign up. We were going to have to figure out how to get by until Polly and Nyla got old enough.

A few months ago the foreman had put me on a more difficult job, looking over the sets of dresses and banners to check for mistakes and working the more intricate parts of the manufacturing. Despite the slight increase in pay there were other issues, that being one of the women at the sewing machines. Georgette, a middle aged woman with curly dark blonde hair and ruddy cheeks who made good dresses and fabric but when she made mistakes the whole item had to be remade. The foreman and some of the supervisors from the Capitol held her in high regard, which she often used to her own advantage.

I turned a skirt over and pulled it inside out, carefully examining the seams and stitching for mistakes. Usually it took me only a few seconds to see if the bit of textile was viable or not and this skirt was no different. A knot the size of a shriveled pea had formed by the waistline. Clearly the sewing machine was broken and the worker hadn’t learned to adapt to its mistakes, this doesn’t usually happen. I dropped the skirt into the reject bin and pulled out the next item. 

“There a problem with that skirt girl?” A female voice asked.

I turned and Georgette was staring me down. "There was an issue with the stitching in the seam. It had to be recycled."

"I made that skirt, it shouldn’t be an issue!”

“There a problem here?” For some reason Fray was out of his section and staring Georgette down.

“I didn’t make that mistake she said I did, she should be demoted!”

Fray flagged one of the managers over. “This woman here isn’t letting this worker do her job.”

“Come with me,” the manager said and pulls Georgette by the arm to the side of the room.

Without acknowledging what happened Fray walked off to his section and whispered something in Dad’s ear. I didn’t want to catch one of the boss's attention so I turned back around and examined the next textile. The day passed slowly and through the changes in lighting I could tell what time it was. In the time between morning and midday I tried not to think about Georgette. Getting dragged off by the managers, supervisors or peacekeepers was never good. I still feel bad about what happened to her.

When the bell sounded that marked the end of the day I dropped the approved items into a cart and pushed them over to the boxing station for tomorrow's crew to pack away and load onto a train or wherever the finished products go. As soon as I finished I walked over to Fray’s station. He looked just like I would if I was a boy his age. Dark hair, almond shaped eyes and pale skin. Like always his hair seemed to attract stray bits of thread and lint although the same could be said for myself.

“Come on Fray, you’ve gotta look nice for Reaping and it’s going to be impossible to get all that thread out of your hair,” I said.

“And you’re the picture of success?” 

“Let’s just get out of here and find Dad,” I responded.

Just outside the factory stood Dad next to a stack of outgoing crates for the quell. We don’t say much as we make our way back to the apartment building but was nice to just be in their company. Everyone in the house was always busy with something, whether it be school, the factory, Nyla and Polly or scrounging up extra cash to pay for everything. I didn't need much to be happy, I just needed them. 

Our apartment building came looming up in front of us as we climbed the hill to the steps. The building itself was built some forty-odd years ago and although it was falling apart in a few places it was still structurally sound. The thing had survived the Dark Days, so I’m pretty certain it could survive anything. As we climbed up a small set of stairs, dandelions growing in the dirt rustled and puffs of those white seeds soared into the clear blue sky. I let out a small smile as the seeds escaped the crowded and run down city, knowing I’ll probably never have the chance to do the same, before turning and entering what I can only call the lobby.

Once we reached the third floor Fray and I immediately headed to the small bathroom in the corner of our bathroom. Our mom was leaning over the small barrel-like bathtub where a shower should have been scrubbing Polly’s back. As the door creaked open she turned to look at us for a moment before going back to scrubbing.

“How was the factory?” She asked.

“The same always I guess,” I replied.

“Georgette give you any trouble?”

“Luckily no, I think she got demoted,” I admitted.

Mom’s eyebrows furrowed, “That’s never a good sign, as awful as she was-” she trailed off mid sentence and didn’t say anything else the whole time I was in the bathroom.  
After pulling the stray threads from my hair I walked back to the crowded bedroom. Two bunk beds, a crib, another bed, and a wardrobe filled the room to the brim making it seem almost like a maze. I gently pulled open the ancient wardrobe and selected a simple gray-green dress with an almost nice looking belt to go around the center. This had been my mother's reaping dress almost twenty years ago. Towards the bottom of the wardrobe between the pairs of children's shoes that used to belong to me and my brothers was a small box. On the inside was an old necklace and a few ribbon-like hair ties. I pulled a light blue ribbon and the necklace out of the box and returned the box to its place. The wardrobe had an old cracked mirror attached to the inside of one of the doors. In it I did my hair, pulling it into a sort of half ponytail and tying it with ribbon.

A knock at the door sounds as I was tying my shoes and I glanced up. “That you Fray?” 

“Yeah,” He said with a muffled voice.

“Come on in, I’m just tying my shoes,” I call out.

Fray opened the door and headed straight for the wardrobe in the corner of the room where my reaping clothes had come from. He pulled out a simple dress shirt and a pair of slacks, both of which had been Dad’s. The clothes were slightly too big on him, as always. Our parents had hoped he would grow into them by now but food was scarce at the moment and that stunted his growth. So many kids in the district were staying small because of this. I heard there was a drought in Eleven, and we almost never got meat from ten.

“Well I’ll leave you alone then,” I said curtly and left the room.

Dad was sitting at the kitchen table watching the pre-game commentators on our ancient flickering television. We didn't really get electricity very much and it seemed like the only time we do get some is between the few days before and after the games and in the few weeks of some victor’s victory tour around the country. We were lucky though to get water a couple days a week, I heard that in the outer parts of the city they only get it once every week or two. 

“He ready yet?” Dad asked.

“Give him a minute, he just has to get dressed,” I replied.

I took a seat out of the way of the television and mindlessly watched some old looking man in a neon green suit drone on and on about gossip surrounding the Games. The rest of the family, excluding Nyla who was taking a nap, joined us a few minutes later. Every year we had the same talk, our plan if one of us gets picked. The thought of getting picked was almost unreal to me. There are so many names in the bowl and so many people sign up for the tessare. For me, Fray, or both to get picked was a long shot or so I thought. It was also my worst fear, having to watch or having my family watch me on the enormous screens out in the square getting killed sounded terrifying. I couldn't even imagine what it would actually be like in the arena.

"I want everyone to agree to pick up extra shifts if one of you gets picked, with either one of you gone we may have one less mouth to feed but we'll be short on money to pay for everything else," Dad announced.

“If it’s me make sure you save my clothes for Nyla and Polly,” I said.

“You got it,” He glanced over at the TV which had the time in the corner. “Well if it’s all set we should get going.”

After picking up Nyla the whole group of us walked to the square. Along the way the crowd thickened as other families left their apartment buildings to head for the crowded square. Most of them have children old enough to be reaped but there’s always the oddballs who go to the Reapings anyway for the drama of it all. I caught a glimpse of Georgette's son, Abel, and shot him a dirty look. He shrugged at me and then quickened his pace so he was several feet in front of me. When we reached the square Fray and I got checked in while the rest of the family stood in the roped off area. The mayor, a few government officials and the escort Relina Crescent were sat on the stage next to the district's only victor at the Claudia Baker. Relina was assigned there the previous year--apparently the previous escort got too old for the job and with their massive earnings they no longer needed the job. Out of all the escorts I’d seen from previous games she was the most normal looking. Her makeup was far less extreme and her hair is what I assumed was its natural color.

Relina walked forward from her seat and to stand behind the microphone.

“Welcome everyone to the Twenty-Sixth annual Hunger Games and before we choose the tributes to represent this fine district, let’s give a short history of the games,” she said.

She gave the same speech every year, the two tributes and the punishment for us districts. I’d heard it all before for years and years. The previous escort always gave a similar speech and I’m betting all of the other districts heard the same speech. Sometimes I forgot how little time had passed since the Dark Days. My parents were both children when it happened and they both lost at least one of their parents in the rebellion. They both probably remembered some of the first games but I’m suddenly snapped out of thought when Aurelia paused for a moment.

“Now to choose our tributes,” Relina announced, “ladies first.”

She walked over to the large bowl and moved her hand around in it for a minute as if to search for the perfect slip of paper. For some reason, like the rest of the crowd, I found myself holding my breath. Finally she grabbed onto a paper and slowly moved back to the microphone. I watched as she cautiously ripped open the seal and as I heard her read the name the whole square went totally silent except for the whistling of wind and the sound of a bird cawing in the distance.

"The female tribute for District 8 is Rosemary Cross."

CLOSEFILETITLED- THE LAST GOOD DAY


	3. The Parting Winds

OPENFILETITLED-POSSIBILITIES

FILEAUTHOR(S): RELINA

"May the odds be ever in your favor."

What an ironic phrase that those of us involved with the Games are so fond of using. Based on the math the odds are not in the average district citizen's favor. It's more likely for an older child to be picked than a younger child, it's simply part of the rules. The older you are the more slips are put in with your name in it. The poor sign up for the tessare and have more slips put in exchange for the pressure food and supplies. Over time these extra slips in the bowl add up and hypothetically it a child signed up for the tessare every year possible their name could be in dozens of times by their last Reaping. A poor child is more likely to be picked than a wealthier child. There are also the Career districts (1, 2 & 4) who train their young for the games while the other districts do not. Hearing that how can anyone admit that the odds are in their favor?

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if my hand had picked any of the number of slips next Rosemary's or her brother's. If they were picked at all would their Games have gone differently? Would I have woken up and realized what happened or would I still be in that hazy dream? Would Rosemary or her brother or both of them lived as normal of lives as they could have all things considering? There are infinite combinations of events and outcomes that I cannot even begin to fathom all the possibilities of lives that that split second decision could have made.

I wish someone could predict what my decisions might lead to but I get the feeling they would be overwhelmed by the endless timelines.

CLOSEFILETITLED-POSSIBILITIES

OPENFILETITLED- THE ODDS WERE NEVER IN THEIR FAVOR

FILEAUTHOR(S): RELINA

The crowd parted as a girl towards the middle of the crowd stepped out into the pathway. The square was big enough though that I had to squint in order to get a better look at the girl. Her green dress stood out surrounded by the white uniforms, she was about average height and was pretty in a 'distinct' kind of way. I'm disgusted now that I got excited at the fact that Rosemary was fifteen and the youngest person to win was at the time sixteen. I couldn't wait to see if she could pull something amazing off. I thought of her as a pawn to get back at Luci. She was a child, a lamb to the slaughter, and I could only think of her like she was some chess piece in a silly game. The girl, Rosemary, didn't share my excitement though but was shocked and somehow I didn't expect that reaction. Her eyes were wide and she looked like she was at a loss for words. The tributes from outlier districts are never excited for this even though I had thought it could be a great experience. As she reached the stairs I heard a woman burst into tears at the back of the square. Rosemary reached my left and stood there almost like a deer in headlights letting the last minutes of their lives stretch into an eternity.

"And now for the men," I announced. 

(oh god why did I say that they were just boys.)

'Please let this be someone with a chance, it would be so nice to have two good tributes. She won't see it coming,' I thought.

I turned to my right and walked up to the other glass bowl. I spun my hand in a circle feeling the various slips of paper as if that would give me an answer on which tribute would be the best. Finally I reached down and pulled out a slip from the bottom of the cluster. Something about it felt right and as I walked back to the microphone my confidence built itself up. I opened the slip carefully when I reach the microphone, the cracking of the wax seal echoed throughout the square.

“Fray Cross will be the male tribute for district 8,” I announced.

An small sized teenaged boy from closer to the front of the crowd made the short trip to the stage. He was somewhat lanky but once he reached the stairs I could see that he looked remarkably like Rosemary. Combine the shared last name and how similar they looked and it was obvious that the two of them were siblings. The two of them were both fairly composed which I considered an amazing sign. If they could pull this off when tensions and fear were at their highest then they could fool anyone, even the careers. 

“Well, with the same last name I can only assume the two of you are siblings,” I said in a cheery voice, “is that true?”

“Yeah, he’s my older brother,” Rosemary said quietly.

“What a dramatic turn of events,” I said

The mayor let out a small cough signaling that I should wrap this up.

“Well everyone these are your tributes for District Eight,” I said while trying to hold my excitement in, “Before we head inside why don’t the two of you shake hands!”

(why was I so excited?)

The two of them awkwardly moved past me and shook hands for just the right amount of time while the crowd below watched them silently. I internally let out a sigh of annoyance, just when I thought they could play off each other well they clammed up on me. This job was going to be hard even when I started though so I’m just going to have to suck it up and make them do the same. Once the two of them stepped away from each other I moved back to the microphone for the final statement of the Reaping.

“Well everyone, Happy Hunger Games and may the odds be ever in your favor,” I called out. 

Afterwards the peacekeepers ushered the two of them into private rooms in the Justice Building. Claudia, the district’s mentor at the time, and I followed and entered another of the private rooms while the mayor staid outside to give a speech of some sort. As the doors closed behind us I could still hear the sobs of the woman and now a few young girls joined her cries. When no one was looking, I rolled my eyes, how could they be so sure the tributes will die? Sure the careers are good but they aren’t that good, with enough training, sponsors and allies anyone can beat them. Was I lying to myself back then to make myself feel better about the unwritten rules of the Game?

Claudia had won the twelfth game when she was seventeen. Fourteen years later she was in her early thirties and it seemed like the weight of the Games never truly left her. That's something I learned over the course of the next year--The weight of the Games never truly leaves any of them. She was never exactly one of the ‘popular’ victors back in the Capitol. Throughout her Games and subsequent victor-ship she never really played to the more primitive desires of the Capitol. Which I can admit was admirable of her, those desires could get a bit out there. Claudia flopped down on a decaying armchair and let out an audible sigh.

“I hate it when they end up being siblings,” She sighed, “I really could’ve used a win right now and then something terrible like this happens.”

“Well them being siblings could be useful later,” I said.

Claudia raised an eyebrow and turned to look more closely at me. “I really wish you wouldn’t talk about the tributes like they’re just part of a game to you. They’re actual people you know.”

“I know that,” I said defensively.

“No you don’t, because if you did know then it never would have occurred to you to say that in the first place,” She said, “God, why are you such a pawn?”

“Well if I’m a pawn then so are you, I know what you did three years ago and I for one would not do that,” I said the sound of my voice rising slightly.

“Oh don’t start that with me, I did what I had to do to get that boy to the final eight, it’s not my fault the Game Makers threw in all those natural disasters,” She snapped back.

I turned around and faced the window watching as the crowd slowly dispersed. Claudia was probably right but I wasn't the type to admit that. My parents probably had a say in those disasters. They were clever and entertaining but a lot of tributes died in the first three days because of it. My first year was just a test year to me, as if the lives I helped through away meant nothing. I told myself that I was going to put my all into that Game for sure. I quickly turned around and saw Claudia hunched over a hollow screen in the corner. She was looking over recaps for the eleventh games I think where a set of siblings had been reaped in District Five. She must have been trying to figure out how to handle their public appearances once we got to the Capitol. I still don't know how she was able to come up with strategies or the shadow of an idea for one so quickly. For me it took time and a lot of planning and I never completely trusted my gut.

“Look, going after each other's throats is going the rest of the years we’re going to spend together tolerable. I’ll keep my trap shut about my views on the tributes if you’re more careful this year with training them,” I said.

“Whatever, just let me focus on this,” she mumbled.

I gave her a quick nod although I doubt she actually saw it and went to the bathroom to freshen up. On my way down the hall I passed a line of chairs where the friends and family of the two tributes were waiting to say goodbye. No one had been allowed in yet and the group of people made the hall feel overcrowded and cramped. They didn’t acknowledge me but they knew I was there for sure so I quickly weaved my way around them. The people of the districts had realized something whether they acknowledged it or not that I didn't at the time. I was just an extension of the Game Maker's power over the country. I thought I was the chess player and the children, mentors and sponsors were the pieces. I was barely even as powerful as a pawn.

CLOSEFILETITLED- THE ODDS WERE NEVER IN THEIR FAVOR

OPENFILETITLED- LOOKS CAN BE DESCEIVING

FILEAUTHOR(S): ROSEMARY

When I'm feeling down I look back at the footage from the Games. My family could never afford to get our pictures taken so the only images I have left outside my memory of Fray are from the Games. Ironic isn't it? I have to come crawling back to the very thing that took him away if I want to see him again. If the footage and records haven't all been destroyed by the time you're reading this then you'll know that in almost all of the footage from that year the two of us looked calm and collected. Like what was happening didn't faze us which couldn't be farther from the truth. Every appearance I make it gets harder and harder to hold it all in. To not give them the luxury of seeing me break into a million pieces and have them react like my life was something out of a story.

The other thing I should mention is that my perception of Fray wasn't entirely accurate at the time and I have to assume that his perception of me wasn't either. We all hide our true selves, our true thoughts and our true emotions behind facades. If we let it all spill who knows what could happen? Whatever the outcome would be all of our lives would be changed forever. 

CLOSEFILETITLED-LOOKS CAN BE DESCEIVING

OPENFILETITLED-THE PARTING WINDS

FILEAUTHOR(S): ROSEMARY

As soon as Fray and I entered the Justice Building we were immediately separated into different rooms. I could only guess that our private rooms are near each other because if I strain my hearing enough I could hear him faintly crying. I was glad that we were separated at this particular moment because if one or both of us were going to break down we should at least do it while cameras and people weren't watching. A lump formed in my throat and tears welled up in my eyes but I fought the urge to let it all out because I knew that if I let myself do that I wouldn't be able to stop.

The Farewell Room as I liked to call was exactly as I thought it would look. The stone brick walls were cracked in places and the fabric of the sofa I was sitting on was threadbare. I think they've repaired it since then but only because a hole was starting to form. I had thought about the Games and what it might be like but I’d never wanted to be the one to enter this room. No one ever comes back, well alive anyway, but they always return the bodies in a cold wooden box. The families of tributes get a short burial and then they resign themselves to what happened. I thought that that was what was going to happen to me soon but I forced myself not to think about the great beyond as my brother was fond of calling it. I had to think about how I was going to get myself through this. 

After a few minutes Dottie of all people opened the door and walked in. She and I still talk sometimes but our meetings have become farther and farther apart. She's set to marry a baker in a few weeks and quit her job in the factory to help look after the shop. I never did work up the courage to ask her why she came to see me. Most people would have to be really close to come greet a tribute before they're sent off. Tear stains covered the sleeves of her dress and the bloodshot look of her eyes proved it was her tears that formed them the stains. She slowly walked toward me and gently pulled me into a hug as if she was afraid I’d disappear. Who was this girl and what had she done to Dottie? We were never this close and I got the impression that she didn’t like me at all. When she pulled away it seemed like she’d collected herself more. 

“Look, I know the odds aren’t exactly good so I wanted to say this to you in case anything happened,” She said, “I’ve always treated you like a rival and like someone I didn’t like but I want you to know I thought of you as a friend.”

“Gee, thanks but you should’ve waited till I got home to say that,” I said but almost immediately regret it, that sounded arrogant. 

She sniffles and gives me a weak smile, “There you go again, just make sure you use that crazy speed of yours to give the careers a run for their money.”

“A pun, really, in this situation?” I joke.

“Come on you know I didn’t mean to say it,” Dottie said through stifled laughter.

“I’m just giving you a hard time.”

“I know that.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“You’ve gotta win so I can beat you in a race someday,” She said.

“We’ll see about that,” I said

Before either of us had a chance to say anything more she was escorted out of the room. I was left in the silence of an unfamiliar room and in horrible circumstances. Would my parents even come to see me and if they did who would stay behind to look after Nyla and Polly, they can’t see something like this. My questions are finally answered when my Dad walks in. Neither of us are really the talking type when it comes to this sort of thing, so Dad ended up holding me in his arms. I tried to hold onto this feeling for as long as possible even though I don’t really like hugs. When I’m choking on my own blood or freezing to death I thought I’d want to remember this. We didn’t even talk to each other when he was pulled away from the room, a decision I knew I’d regret later. I thought I should have said something, anything, because it could have been my last chance.

I barely had a chance to collect myself before I was forced out of the Justice Building and into the backseat of a car. The backseat seems almost too big, like it was designed for the escort and two large tributes. Considering how small Fray and I were we probably could've fit another person in the back if we squeezed together enough. Walking into the car and finally meeting up with Fray again I had expected that one of us would break down crying or say something, anything. That didn’t happen, of course, and the two of us sat on opposite sides of Relina not saying anything. The silence was so uncomfortable and I could almost feel Relina tensing up next to me.

“Now I know this is going to be difficult but at least for the next few days you get to have will be good,” Relina Crescent said suddenly. 

I could tell she was saying something else but I tuned her out, nodded and stared out the window as we moved towards the train station. I tried to memorize every crumbling building and every dirty window. I thought it would probably be the last I saw of my district, as rundown as it was I was going to miss it. After a few minutes we reached the edge of town and then left it. The train station was built in a special area separated from the endless city that is the district. I hadn’t really seen full grown trees or flowers that look like they were meant to be there before. The train was made of shiny glass and metal sort of the looms looked like when they were reinstalled five years ago.

“Well here we are and don’t worry you each get as much as you want to eat and your very own rooms,” She said.

We followed her up the steps to the platform and finally walked into the train car. It was leagues nicer than our apartment had been and the Justice Building. The fluffy couches with nice pillows, crystal chandeliers and polished wooden tables that furnished the room mesmerized me. As soon as we were seated on a sofa the train started up and began speeding toward the Capitol. 

“Claudia is probably around here somewhere, let me go get her,” Aurelia said cheerfully before turning and leaving the room. 

The different districts moved past us so quickly that the view outside our window was a blur. I halfway wondered what life was like in all of the other districts and what the other tributes were thinking right now. In the end I rained in my thoughts on everything that’s happened so far to what Fray and I were going to do.

“So how’d it go with Mom and Dad?” I asked.

“Well it was just Mom that came to see me, she was a mess,” He replied.

“Wait, just Dad came to see me. Who was watching Nyla and Polly?” 

“Mom said Dottie and this ‘nice boy’ named Abel were watching them.”

I looked up at him sharply. “As in Abel Ainsley, Georgette’s son?”

“Yeah so?” He said incredulously. “He’s not actually a bad guy, he and I have class together.”

I rolled my eyes and let out a small sigh in response. Even if I did jump to conclusions there’s nothing that I could have done about it. I didn't want to think about what it really meant for both Fray and I to be reaped. Even if one of us was to win the other was going to die and we couldn't do anything about it. My stomach twisted in knots at the thought and my anxiety level rose. I carefully tried even out my breaths in order to calm that nervous feeling that was forming in my chest while we waited for Claudia.

CLOSEFILETITLED- THE PARTING WINDS


	4. Throwing Someone to the Wolves

OPENFILETITLED- ONE WAY MIRROR

FILEAUTHOR(S): ROSEMARY

Being a victor is a bit like being a one way mirror. You can look out at the people but all they will see is their own reflection. Claudia never let anyone see what she was truly thinking or feeling and to make up for it the people would reflect whatever values they wanted onto her. To this day I know as much about her as I did the day I met her. I've tried and failed to do the same thing to the people of the Capitol. I don't want them to know what I'm thinking or feeling when it's them who put me in this horrible position. They have no right to decide who lives and dies and how those who survive should live their lives. We're people just like them not figures from some ancient book that they can push and pull in any direction with their theories and interpretations. 

CLOSEFILETITLED- ONE WAY MIRROR

OPENFILETITLED- TRANSIT

FILEAUTHOR(S): ROSEMARY

After a few minutes the district’s sole victor, Claudia Baker, entered the room. She almost towered over us as she leaned down to sit in an armchair in front of us. Neither of us said anything as she looked us up and down as if to see which of us is better. I can remember watching one of the reruns of her games and seeing her give that same look to the tributes outside of her makeshift shelter while pointing a large spear at them. That year the arena had been a massive flat expanse of grassland and for the final event acid rain fell on the tributes. She had just barely escaped death thanks to the thick layers of woven grass her shelter was made of and even then she was left with scars.

“I hope you two are ready because the next few days are gonna be hell,” Claudia said gruffly, “but if all goes well one of you will get to go back home in a few weeks.”

“Do you choose who to support?’ Fray asked.

“Most of the time, no, but if you impress me in the next few day maybe I’ll stick my neck out for you,” She replied. "I'm sure you know why I don't stick my neck out in most cases."

“Yeah but is there any advice you can give us?” I asked.

“Asking tons of questions now?" Claudia furrowed her brow a bit like she was trying to think of something to say. “Well since we don’t know what the arena is going to be like, I’ll say avoid tributes from one, two, and four, the Careers and unless you can run incredibly fast or fight don’t go for the Cornucopia. I have to know ahead of time what I'm working with, do you have important skills?"

“I’m pretty fast,” I said, shrugging.

“She beat out adults for one of the promotions too,” Fray said, “and I’m pretty good at making stuff like blankets and I’m pretty sure I could figure out how to make other useful stuff.”

“You think you could build something while you’re out there?” Claudia asked.

“With the right materials sure,” He answered. 

I tried to pay as much attention as possible to Claudia as she explained various things about the games. I felt almost overwhelmed at the various amounts of things I should be memorizing. We sat there for what felt like hours before Relina entered the compartment halfway through Claudia’s explanation on how to find water when it’s scarce. Her makeup was practically gone and she had taken off the weird corset she was wearing. If I had thought she looked less strange back at the square on the train she looked like someone had dressed up a girl from the districts in Capitol clothes. When she took the armchair next to Claudia I could see a few birthmarks that were sprinkled across her face. The two of them looked like they could be distant cousins, they had the same hazel eyes and tall stature.

“Sorry to interrupt,” She said after Claudia stopped talking mid-sentence, “the footage from the other Reapings was just released, I thought you’d all like to see it.”

“It’s fine,” Claudia responded, “it's good to know your opponents, let’s go.”

Claudia stood and the rest of us followed her out of the room. Relina and Claudia seemed to know the layout of the train perfectly. We passed through various cars, one containing a bar and others containing Capital workers going about their usual business. Finally the four of us reached a room holding a few armchairs and a large screen. We all took a chair and Relina turned on the television screen. It turned on in an instant as opposed to the usual flickering that accompanied ours on the days that it worked. 

The Reapings always showed footage of the two tributes standing together on stages in front of the different Justice Buildings that were in various stages of disrepair. The careers that year (and practically every year) were massive, they were all easily five inches taller than me or more and at least two years older. The male tribute from two looked particularly terrifying but the name Slate made him seem a little over the top. It’s like his parents predicted that he’d be this intimidating bloodthirsty person or something. The tributes from other districts on the other hand all looked as starved and scared as we did, but it’s the difference in how hungry we looked compared to the careers that was ridiculous.

By the time our Reaping came around a sick feeling had settled into my stomach. I was nervous to see what I looked like at the Reaping to the cameras because it could inform how I was treated by my competitors and the Game Makers. I was terrified walking up there but I was almost surprised at how calm I looked--all things considered. Fray looked visibly nervous but not at the same level as some of the other tributes. Some were outright crying and fighting against the Peacekeepers as they dragged them up to the stage. Claudia gave us advice right then of all times even though this was the footage where we were sentenced to our deaths.

“When it comes to public appearances that is one thing you should never do,” Claudia said, “Always look calm and composed, almost excited to be there. That’s how you get sponsors, they like tributes who have a positive opinion of them and the Capitol.” 

“I don't like saying it but she’s right,” Relina said. “I’ve met some of the sponsors before and that’s exactly what they think about.”

Without saying a word Relina looked down at her watch like nothing happened. I glanced over at Claudia but it seemed like she hadn't even reacted yet to what Aurelia had said. I couldn't tell if this was because she hadn't heard Relina, if she was used to this kind of thing, if she was trying to hide a reaction or anything else. I could tell though that this sort of thing wasn't normal even for them and I wanted to ask about it but I pushed down that urge. Something told me that I shouldn’t be trying to peek behind the scenes of those two’s arrangement. 

Relina looked back up at us. “Well it’s time for dinner, come along everyone.”

Dinner was so different from things back home. There were multiple courses, soups, salads, rich stews, and mountains of cake as opposed to the single course of tesserae bread and a handful of beans. Midway through the meal my stomach began to get upset and I realized I was just not used to eating rich food like that. Fray looked about as uncomfortable as I was and I couldn't help but feel sorry for the two of us. I’m guessing neither of us had ever eaten this much in one sitting before.

“How’s the food? Better than food from home I hope?” Relina asked us.

Fray choked on his food slightly and Claudia glanced up at Relina with a critical look in her eye before looking back at her food. Clearly she didn't want us talking about home and any drama we might have around her. I couldn't stop thinking about home and how our parents were doing but for that question to get a reaction out of Claudia talking about home must be a big no no. That was how Claudia subtly told us that thinking about anything other than the present and planning for the future wasn't smart because it would only hurt us. I remember thinking, 'Is she trying to spare us the pain of thinking about home when all that's left for us is the Games?'

“With all due respect Miss Crescent, the food wasn’t that bad, there just wasn’t enough of it,” Fray said.

Sensing the tension in the room Claudia looked up and set down her silverware. “Get cleaned up and get some rest you two. Tomorrow's the opening parade and trust me, it’s better if you go in with a clear head.”

She turned and pressed a button on the wall. Within minutes a worker entered the room and led us through the maze of corridors to a set of bedrooms but before I got a chance to thank the worker he’s already gone. I glanced at Fray for some more support and he shrugged in response. I pulled open the door to the room with a sign designating it as belonging to “the female tribute,” as if I didn't have a name. I looked back at Fray before I entered my bedroom.

Fray gave a weak smile. “See you in the morning Rosemary.”

“You too.”

The bedroom I was assigned to was much larger than the one I shared with the entire family back home. A massive bed with fluffy pillows occupied the middle of the room and a small bathroom sat toward the back of the rooms. Between the door to the bathroom and to the hallway was a large wardrobe. I opened it and found it filled with clothes in various sizes and styles as if I’d need a whole closet in the short time I was on the train. 

I pulled a nightgown out of one of the drawers and walked back to the bathroom to take a shower. The shower wall was covered with different notches and buttons that indicated the various settings you could change the shower to. I checked each carefully and chose a flower scented soap and some basic hot water. I was struck by the extravagance of every little thing, why do they need so many variations on simple things? I tried not to think too much about it though, I got the feeling that I’d just end up staying up all night just thinking about it. 

After I finished in the bathroom I pulled on the nightgown I picked out and climbed under the thick blankets. Despite all efforts not to think about anything I still found it hard to sleep. I missed the sounds of Dad snoring and I was downright scared about what was going to happen in the next couple days. I hoped Fray was having better luck falling asleep then I thought I would but something told me we were going to be in the same boat in that regard.

CLOSEFILETITLED- TRANSIT

OPENFILETITLED- THROW THEM TO THE WOLVES

FILEAUTHOR(S): RELINA

There comes a point when you're planning your districts strategy for the game when you have to decide who to support. That was the nice way those of us who weren't going in said "Who are we going to abandon to the arena?" Or to put it in old terms "Who are we going to throw to the wolves?" The children from the career districts brainwashed into wanting to enter the Hunger Games and to want to kill others for the chance at fame and fortune. They, along with the Game Makers and the occasional tribute from a non-career district, are the wolves. 

CLOSEFILETITLED- THROW THEM TO THE WOLVES

OPENFILETITLED- WAR MEETING

FILEAUTHOR(S): RELINA

Once the tributes were taken to their rooms Claudia and I sat in the dining car in an uncomfortable silence. This was the first time we've been alone in the same room since we’d gotten to know the tributes a little bit better. I glanced over at her as she sipped a small amount of wine. Before I got the chance to look away she set down the glass loudly and turned to me.

“What is it?” She said, in a slightly weary tone.

“Who’ll it be this year?” I asked.

“I really don’t want to talk about this right now. I'm still thinking about it.” She said.

“Come on you can tell me. It's not like anyone will hear what we're saying,” I said. 

"How do you know they're not?"

I looked at her blankly.

“It’s not a matter of if they’re good or bad, it’s how good the Careers are,” Claudia explained. “I’m glad the two of them are on the older side but I’ve got to figure out how to get them to use their skills properly against the overwhelming strength of, well, y’know.” 

She gestured vaguely with her hands.

“Here’s a thought, figure out what Rosemary’s job was, maybe the skills she had to get the job would be useful. Like memory or intelligence or whatever,” I said.

“I’ll ask her about it at breakfast.”

“Humor me, tell me your initial thoughts,” I said.

“Fine. Fray’s crafting skills or whatever you want to call them may be useful if he learns how to make more than textiles but it all depends on what environment they’re dropped in. Rosemary’s speed and apparent skills that got her that promotion might prove useful in more situations if honed correctly.” 

“Thank you,” I retort.

“Whatever makes you happy.”

After our ‘meeting’ Claudia and I parted ways. I never ask what she does in private, if she planned more strategy or got drunk, I've never been able to tell. Claudia had this habit of hiding what she’s really thinking or feeling and even if she does get drunk all alone, no one would know. From footage I’d seen a lot of the victors end up traumatized and some of them turn to morphine or alcohol. I just hoped that whoever wins doesn’t meet that fate--morphlings don’t last very long.

Before heading off to bed I glanced into the tribute’s rooms. The bedrooms on the trains all look practically identical, the only difference being in the color schemes and slight variations in décor. At this point both of them are asleep or just faking it, I’ve heard stories of tributes staying up for days after they’re reaped. Doctors are called in a day or two before they’re sent into the arena and they force the tributes to take sleeping pills at night. People like a good game and you’ll never get one if all the tributes are sleep deprived and sleeping most of the games. It’s not entertaining to watch the one rested tribute kill the sleeping ones all in a day or two.

At my vanity I undo my fancy hairstyle slowly. The pins and accessories I use are the standard but they’re meant for wigs that most female escorts wear. Over time escorts as well take drugs and end up losing hair from the stress of it all. When I was younger and visited my father at work during the pre-planning for the games I saw how some of the Game Makers deteriorated. He had forced me to vow never to end up like them, he wanted the family to remain in good standing. After I finished the long process of getting ready, I climbed into bed and stared out the window next to it, watching the outskirts of other districts go by.

I thought year was going to be hard and in a way I was right. The difference between what I had thought was going to be hard and what actually happened though was massive. I had a lot to prove and people expected that because they were siblings they were going to play off each other in the pre-game festivities. I thought that it was going to be hard to make that happen though because in the less than twenty-four hours I'd known them the two of them had barely said two words to each other. I could tell they were just barely holding it together and if one of them is going to win they had to pull it together. Where the differences don't come in is what I thought I was able to and what I was actually able to do for the children. I was only able to do so much and down the line it was all on them. On their small and malnourished shoulders.

CLOSEFILETITLED- WAR MEETING


	5. The Glittering City

OPENFILETITLED- FALSE SUPERIORITY

FILEAUTHOR(S): RELINA

When I was little I used to think I was superior to those from the districts simply because of where I was born. In the Capitol it's much easier to survive and to earn an education then it is in the districts. My first two years as an escort I began the tributes' first day near the Capitol the same way by making them shed their 'inferior' identities. As if being from the Capitol made you better than everyone else. In reality it means nothing other than that you were lucky to be born in one part of the world instead of another. 

CLOSEFILETITLED- FALSE SUPERIORITY

OPENFILETITLED- ROUTINE

FILEAUTHOR(S): RELINA

On the first morning with that year's tributes I woke up early, I had to prepare for the parade and to face Hadrianna. We all watched the parade from a special room with the stylists and prep teams but it has to be rather large considering each tribute gets their own stylist and prep team. That year however, I’d considered taking a bolder approach with my outfit. Wearing something more plain while still keeping my hair in it’s usual style. After getting ready I pulled on a blouse covered in designs made of a faux gold material, a pair of trousers and a vest that reached my thighs, not to mention a pair of heels.

The hallways of the train were quiet as I walked towards the car containing the tributes’ bedrooms. The previous year I made my tributes wake up slightly early for the arrival at the Capitol, and I decided to continue the tradition this year. It wasn't considered in good taste to have them walk in wearing their reaping clothes, people considered it a sign of clinging to home and not liking the Capitol. So I made them put on a set of clothes from the dresser drawers in their rooms. I was not and am still not a stylist by any means but I thought helping them look slightly ‘better’ for their first appearance would make a world of difference.

CLOSEFILETITLED- ROUTINE

OPENFILETITLED- INSOMNIA

FILEAUTHOR(S): ROSEMARY

Since becoming a victor I've had more time on my hands to think and do a lot of things I wasn't able to do a long time ago. Compared to the regimented life I had before some would think that was a gift but it really isn't. There's nothing to distract me from my racing thoughts which can be very overwhelming. I think the day my insomnia began was that first night on the train. I can never calm my thoughts long enough to fall asleep and when I do bad dreams come in abundance. 

I wonder what my life would have been like if I had been born in the Capitol where I would never have had to be in the Hunger Games. My insomnia wouldn't have developed and I would have constant distractions with their constant partying and events.

CLOSEFILETITLED- INSOMNIA

OPENFILETITLED- THE GLITTERING CITY

FILEAUTHOR(S): ROSEMARY

I hadn’t gotten very sleep that night--The thought of the looming Capitol skyscrapers and the knives of the careers at the Cornucopia had kept me up. Suddenly interrupting the quiet hum of the train I heard the sound of high heels clicking down the soft carpeted hallway. A short moment later a persistent knock at the door replaced the sound. I sat up and stared at the door before crawling out of bed and opening it. Outside stood Relina in far less fancy clothing but with her usual intricate hairstyle.

“Good morning,” She said in an all too sweet tone, “I thought I’d wake Fray and you to make you slightly more presentable by Capital standards.”

“And what does that mean exactly?” I asked.

“Take a shower, be thorough, and then I’ll help you pick out an outfit and do something basic with your hair,” Relina replied, “Your stylist will like you more if you appear nicer and than just some factory worker.”

I nodded quietly in response and walked back to the bathroom. I wanted to say something snarky in response but she was someone I’m going to have to rely on, so I bit my tongue and kept quiet. Getting on her bad side could mean a whole host of bad things that I didn't want to deal with. I had to step over my mother’s old dress in the process and I felt very bad about leaving it on the floor like that. I could hear Relina waking Fray up in the other room as I stepped through the doorway to the bathroom. I still stand by the fact that she probably had to practically tear him out of bed and force him into the bathroom. Fray never liked getting up in the morning and being away from only could only exasperate that habit. In an attempt to avoid the problem I initially had the previous night I tried to find out what settings I used the night before since they seemed to do the trick. As I finished up setting up the shower I thought that the Capitol standards must have been very high if the escort has to get you ready for the prep team getting you ready for a stylist who’s getting you ready for the Capitol.

After my showered I dried myself off and brushed my teeth and hair. It’s only after doing all of those things Crescent joined me and she laid out a few outfits that were my size on the bed. Ultimately I picked a basic button up blouse and purple skirt. She pulled my hair into a similar hairstyle as it was at the reaping but changed the ponytail into a small braid. While I sat around in the bedroom I could hear her trying to give advice to Fray about fashion and being presentable. At home he had just worn what we had, which was pretty limited and it wasn't a surprise that the two of us didn't have much of a sense of style according to Relina. I tried to stifle my laughter at some of the things she was saying to him.

“No, we don’t have that in your size and no you simply cannot wear that either it looks like it was designed for a creature with orange skin.”

“Come on work with me here, everything’s so weird looking,” Fray said.

“This is just for half an hour, calm down.”

After twenty minutes Relina re-entered the room with Fray’s reaping clothes in her arms. She leaned down and folded up mine as well, maybe she’s collecting them so when they send us home in a cold box we’ll be wearing them. She stopped when she noticed the old necklace sitting on the dresser and picked it up to inspect it.

“Is this the token you’re going to bring?” She asked.

“I suppose, I don’t really have anything else to use,” I said.

“It’s the stylist who makes sure tributes get their tokens, why don’t I give this to your stylist,” She offered.

“That would be great,” I said.

She nodded at the door and I followed her out of the room to the dining car. I had thought that the days leading up to the Games would drag on but that past day had gone by in a flash. I had only just started to memorize the layout of the train and now I was going to be whisked off to the Capital. 

Within five minutes the four of us were all assembled at the dining table. Breakfast was almost as extravagant as dinner was the night before. We were brought large bowls of yogurt, piles of eggs, rolls, meat and pitchers of orange juice and hot drinks. This time Fray and paced ourselves and tried not to eat everything placed in front of us. I’m certain some of this food will go to waste and I still feel bad about that. There were hundreds of people back home and thousands more across the district who could have been eating these leftovers people of the Capital leave behind in the garbage.

“Well how did the two of you sleep last night, were the beds comfortable?” Relina asked.

Claudia shoots her a dirty look but Aurelia only returns with one of confusion. “What, what did I say?” 

“When we get to the station they’re going to rush you off to the prep center,” Claudia said, disregarding the last thing Relina said.

“What sort of thing are they going to be doing?” Fray asked.

“Making you presentable,” Relina said, “Don’t worry it’s nothing extreme.”

Not long after telling us this Claudia glanced out the window behind us and an odd look spread across her face. I turned around and I could see the skyscrapers of the Capitol glittering over the lake and the mountains framing the city reached even greater heights than the tallest building. The whole city was an absolute marvel and I was taken aback by its beauty. How can people living in a place so beautiful create something so terrible?

Fray put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. I shot him a confused look but he wasn't looking at me. That goofy smile of his is still spread across his face, I rolled my eyes and looked back out the window. He probably had the right idea, the people would probably like the idea of us being friends. As much as I didn't like the idea of them peering into our private lives, I'm glad that Fray came up with the idea, I probably wouldn't have thought of it. We continued the act until we reached the train station. The crowds almost seemed star struck and pushed even harder towards the window, that is until peacekeepers pull them off so the train can continue moving smoothly.

Slowly the train came to a stop and we were escorted off of it by peacekeepers and onto the platform. I caught a few glimpses of the tributes I had seen on the television. Most of them looked smaller in person and several look like they hadn’t slept a wink last night. All of us were herded into different cars that would take us to the training center. Somehow the glittering city over the lake that surrounded me seemed so much bigger and scarier than it had on the train. 

The car pulled off into a roped off section of road next to a black skyscraper. Capitol workers in red uniforms were waiting and opened the doors to the car before they escorted us into the building. They seemed different than the peacekeepers, less intimidating and I can only guess that these were the Avoxx's. Everyone had heard of them, people who had their tongues cut out for crimes against the Capitol, but I had never met one at that point. At the elevator I saw Relina and Claudia going to a different part of the building while holding a conversation that I couldn't make out. Fray and I glanced at each other nervously as the elevator began its descent to the Prep Center. 

CLOSEFILETITLED- THE GLITTERING CITY


	6. The Kitchen

OPENFILETITLED- REPULSIVE

FILEAUTHOR(S): ROSEMARY

Before any of the Games the tributes are 'cleaned up' to the Capitol's standards of beauty for all to see. Like who we are under all that makeup, fancy clothing and fancy hair styles is too disgusting... to repulsive for them to even handle. Never mind the fact that with decades of division between the Capitol and districts has led to distinct cultures and the fact that in most districts beauty by someone else's standards is beyond anyone's concern. We didn't have time to think about our appearances we just had to work to survive and meet Capitol quotas. Why do we have to change for the Capitol to find us sympathetic or appealing?

CLOSEFILETITLED- REPULSIVE

OPENFILETITLED- THE KITCHEN

FILEAUTHOR(S): ROSEMARY

Once we reached the Prep Center on one of the lower floors of the Training Center Fray and I were separated. Before disappearing into the boy’s section Fray gave me a funny look and I let out a quiet laugh. He always had that way of helping me calm down in stressful situations, usually in the form of jokes and laughter. The girl’s section on the other side of the floor was conveniently divided into twelve sections and each section had divider walls to each side with a table-like structure in the middle and various tools off to the side.  
For a few minutes I sat on the table with my legs dangling off the side of the table before my prep team arrived. Nervousness had begun to build up in me again and minutes felt like they had stretched into hours. I knew that the change in the rate at which time passed was exaggerated but that didn't stop me from worrying. The prep team had to arrive sometime but what if the loss of time would lose me sponsors? 

“Romulus is going to kill us for being late,” I heard a female voice whisper. 

“Shut up,” Another hissed.

Finally my prep team arrived at my section and began rushing around me although I couldn't figure out what they were trying to do. All of them were women and they all had hair in varying shades of blue and in strange but almost practical outfits in different shades of green to match. One looked at me with half-pity, while another went to prepare the tools and the third approached me captiously. Her hair was the darkest of the three shades of blue, it was almost a midnight blue, and was pulled into an intricate hairstyle of buns and braids. She gave me a small smile and handed me a thin white dress.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Jules,” She said, “Could you put this on before we get to work?”

“I guess so,” I mumbled and began peeling off my regular clothes.

When I was redressed and laying on the table the trio got to work. They worked to scrub me down and wax off my body hair. It felt like they had been working for hours by the time they get to my nails and eyebrows. My body stung all over and I still had to sit still which left me irritated and exhausted. I felt almost like a plucked chicken about to go to the slaughter. In that scenario this would be the kitchen I mused and the Games would be the slaughter. Except the chickens get more dignity than that--They aren’t paraded in front of the country for all to see and they get a swift death.

While the women work I caught snatches of conversation about their lives. At that point I learned the name of the woman with sky blue hair was Arcus and the one who scoffed at me was Aurora. I heard stories of parties, meals and the latest fashion trends. With the way they spoke about it some of these things must have been scandalous but to me it sounded like they were just making a big deal out of nothing.

I was almost surprised when they forced me into a robe and pushed me into a small private room not unlike my previous station. I was laying on another counter for what seems like hours before I heard the door open. Quickly I sat up and turned towards the man who just entered. His sunset orange hair and powder blue suit made him stand out against the black walls of the room and it wasn't entirely in a good way.

“You the stylist?” I asked.

“That would be me,” He said, “I’m Romulous.” 

“Let me guess,” I said, “our outfits are made out of patchworks.”

“Keep an open mind,” Romulous said and turned toward the door, “bring everything in.”

Within minutes my prep team, their supplies and a large box were brought into the room. They sat me down in the best lighting and applied makeup gently to my face. Then they helped me climb into a flowing and kind of heavy purple dress with gold writing and stars patterned across the back. When I saw myself in the mirror I see the gold ribbons tied to and small stars pinned in my hair. I looked almost like myself, just enhanced slightly.

“I thought looking like a banner against the night sky would be a beautiful way to commemorate your district’s efforts towards the quarter quell,” He said, “Without making you look ridiculous, of course.”

“I don’t even know what to say,” I managed to reply after a minute or two.

“That’s the sort of reaction I’m looking for with the sponsors, most of the time they overlook the mining and factory working districts,” Romulous said. 

“It’s time to get to the chariots,” Jules said.

“Let’s go Rosemary,” He said.

I gave him a quick nod and followed him upstairs to what I could only call the chariot room. The room itself was more of a smooth walled cavern crowded with a dozen chariots and two horses per chariot in varying colors and levels of décor. Each of which was crowded by the different tributes and their entourages. We moved towards the middle of the line where my chariot was waiting. It was draped with strips of colorful fabric and Fray was already there wearing a suit similar in pattern and color to mine with the coat trailing behind him just like a banner. Claudia, Relina and Fray’s stylist were all there as well and Relina was beaming.

“You two look so amazing,” Relina said.

At that moment the music introducing the chariots sounded and it boomed throughout the city. The sound was almost overwhelming and I took a deep breath to calm myself down. As I walked quickly toward the chariot I stumbled a little on the heels of my shoes before catching myself quickly. Fray and I quickly clambered onto the chariot so we wouldn’t be left behind. Romulous, Claudia, Aurelia and Fray’s stylist all took a quick step back to make room for the soon to be advancing chariots.

“Remember what I said,” Claudia called out as the chariot began to move away, “Act like you’re excited to be here.”

In just a few short moments we were out of the cavern like building and onto the main strip. Huge stands with hundreds of shouting brightly colored people loom over us but there were so many people that those in the back just look like splotches of color. I wrapped my arm around Fray’s shoulder and began to wave with the biggest smile on my face that I could manage. I glanced over at him at one point and I could see him attempting to woo the crowd as well. I let out a sigh of relief before returning to the act. People were throwing flowers down at us and I even managed to catch a few. I tucked one in Fray’s suit pocket and one in my hair. Before I knew it all of the chariots had stopped in a semi circle in front of the massive stage holding the president and some of his advisors.

President Snow, a tall many with curly blonde hair, stood front in center at the microphone. He gave a wave and as district twelve's chariot came to a sudden stop the music does as well. All I could hear was the loud cheering of the crowd and many others in the surrounding city. Snow cleared his throat and that noise quieted as well. It’s almost eerie how quiet the once overpowering crowd became in a matter of seconds. 

“Welcome to the Twenty-Sixth annual Hunger Games,” He announced with giving short pauses every other word, “We appreciate your courage and sacrifice in these great games and may the odds be ever in your favor.”

The hoards of people in the stands held onto his every word and onto his last breath before they cheered loudly. The cacophony of noises from around the city drowned out the noises of every other tribute and the horses pulling our chariots. Before the noise became too overwhelming the chariots began moving again taking a different route to the cavern room we left from.

CLOSEFILETITLED- THE KITCHEN

OPENFILETITLED- COMPETITION

FILEAUTHOR(S): RELINA

Petty infighting remains common amongst those involved in the Games. They all want things to go their way and I used to enjoy being apart of that but now I just can't anymore. It's cost me some social standing, I'll be the first to admit, but this stupid competition just isn't worth it. I just want to bring people home to their families and not treat them like a piece in some grand scheme to get me what I want. Fifteen years ago no one saw this as some silly competition, they saw it for what it was, and it wasn't until Coriolanus Snow came around changed that. If only he hadn't gotten involved, maybe just maybe, we would've grown sickened enough by the Games to have stopped holding them by now.

CLOSEFILETITLED- COMPEITION

OPENFILETITLED- WHY DID I DO THAT?

FILEAUTHOR(S): RELINA

As everyone filtered into the viewing room I stood off to the side uncomfortably in an attempt to avoid Hadrianna and Luci. I had gotten a good pick of tributes this year but Luci hadn’t based on the Reaping footage and she’d probably want to find something at fault with mine to even out the playing field or something. Someone tapped on my shoulder and I whirled around quickly to see who it was. Claudia stood there looking somewhat confused by sudden movement.

“Everything alright?” She asked.

“Yeah, just trying to avoid someone,” I said.

‘You guys get into fights with each other? From what I’ve seen you guys never even raise your voice to people from the Capitol.”

“You’d be surprised, the person I’m trying to avoid is a real pain.”

“Good luck with that and,” Claudia leaned passed me and grabbed a small sandwich off a platter, “I’m just going to take what I came here to get.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” She said and walked over to talk to the mentor from three.

I let out a small sigh and took a sip from some sparkling water that had also been laid out on the table. In the moment I had let my guard down Luci snuck up on me, her small entourage in tow. Hadrianna was missing from the group though which I had found funny, she had stuck up for someone like Luci but she couldn’t seem to stick with her. Her group let out a giggle at what I could only assume was the way I had dressed that day. She stepped forward so that the space between us was small and I could feel her breath on my face.

“You really like wearing strange things,” She said.

“At least I try to stand out, last I checked it gets the tributes sponsors,” I responded.

In the entire time that Luci had been escorting, not one of her tributes had gotten a sponsor. Nine’s mentor was too busy most of the time getting drunk or high off something which left her to get sponsors. Although with her family’s reputation and her bad attitude that was never going to happen. She was seething at the comment but was holding it in so her friends didn’t notice. 

“Whatever, my tributes don’t need them anyway,” She said. 

“Sure thing,” I said and disappeared into the crowd. 

I didn’t want to deal with that girl all night. She was just a waste of time right about now and I wanted focus on other things. The private room everyone had been crowded in suddenly erupted in chatter as soon as the tributes stopped in front of the stage. We had all heard the same speech by President Snow every year, and at that point all there was to talk about was the tributes. Romulus and Remus, Fray and Rosemary’s stylists, were chatting with one of the stylists for district one.

“Now I’m regretting the choice of using quartz outfits,” I heard one’s stylist say, “I could’ve tied in something to the last year's quarter quell.”

“Nonsense, the outfits were enchanting,” Remus replied. 

I could tell Remus was lying through his teeth and the other stylist knew it. The stylists for the careers had been incompetent for years, although the outfits fit the theme of the districts they always came off as too close to the definition of the district’s jobs. Nothing looked elegant and they didn’t interpret the jobs into something more presentable. Similar conversations about our district’s clothing filled the room not long after and I struck up a conversation with Claudia in order to avoid the other escorts nagging. They all had a certain loyalty to the district they worked for and got nasty when their tributes didn’t do something right or weren’t the talk of the town.

“Think we got any good sponsors?” I asked.

“On any other year no,” Claudia said, “but with the stylists' for one being so incompetent this year and their tributes looking so uncomfortable, I’d say we got a few.”

“I’m glad they’re both trying,” I said.

“Yeah, but I think Fray’s putting on a bit of a show,” She replied.

“What?”

“Look at the tributes,” She said, gesturing to the semi-circle. “Those who held themselves together at the Reapings have maintained that but Fray on the other hand. Well he still looks nervous and my guess is that he’s holding it together for Rosemary.”

“Don’t talk like that!” I found myself saying.

“Disbelieve it all you want but I’ve been doing this long enough to know who’s holding it together by the skin of their teeth. Those kids don’t make it long, I can tell you that.”

“And you told me to not treat the tributes like they’re a part of some game I’m playing,” I said and stormed away.

When the tributes arrived back at the entrance room everyone filtered out to meet them and I glanced around at the other chariots as they come to a stop. The tributes were practically clinging to the front of the chariot whether it be from fear or the uncomfortable costume they were wearing. The tributes from one, Slate and Velvie I think their names were, looked the most uncomfortable. The material the quartz shards were made from must have been severely weighing them down. They were also giving dirty looks to Rosemary from across the room, they must have been jealous of the lighter material her dress was made from.

The four of us confidently walked to their chariot with a sense of pride because we had the attention of the sponsors and the people of the Capitol. Now all the two of them had to do was keep it up until the end of the Games. I felt like I was walking on air and that no one could bring me back down to Earth. Not even Luci with her childish insults or Claudia with her sometimes cruel and calculating ways. A smile escaped onto my face and a spring formed in my step.

CLOSEFILETITLED- WHY DID I DO THAT?


	7. A Lost Cause

OPENFILETITLED- A LOST CAUSE

FILEAUTHOR(S): RELINA

In matters of life and death like this you have to make extreme decisions. To view people not like people but like a list of facts and skills because these statistics are what determines persons likelihood of survival even without outside help. People are reduced to three categories, ordinary, potentially extraordinary or extraordinary. When picking who to save from death ordinary just isn't good enough and they're just thought of as a lost cause. People shouldn't be considered a lost cause for simply not being able to meet these extreme standards. 

If the world was good none of us would have been in that situation. Claudia and I wouldn't have had to decide which child to support. Fray wouldn't have been abandoned. Rosemary wouldn't have had to live with the weight of what her survival meant. The hundreds of tributes and dozens of mentors over the years wouldn't have had to think about or deal with any of this. 

The real lost cause was not us or the tributes. 

It was the system in which the country was governed. The punishment for 'cruelty' should not be more and even worse cruelty than before.

CLOSEFILETITLED- A LOST CAUSE

OPENFILETITLED- WE COULD'VE DONE MORE

FILEAUTHOR(S): RELINA

Once we reached the chariots I helped Rosemary down from the pedestal and she had stumbled slightly when walking to the chariot so it was obvious that she would need help getting down. For someone untrained heels like the ones she was wearing were difficult to move around in and it was difficult to keep your balance. It would be bad if she tripped and fell over right now when all eyes were on her, people might think she wasn't strong enough. Fray climbed down quickly and stood next to Rosemary with an odd look on his face. 

“You two did fantastic, everyone was jealous of you,” Romulous said.

“I’ll bet you got sponsors,” I said.

“I hope so, that’d make wearing these heels worth it,” Rosemary joked.

“Let’s get you up to our floor then,” Claudia said.

As we walked back to the elevator I glanced back at Fray. Rosemary wasn't that talkative but Fray was on a whole other level of quiet and I couldn't quite figure out why he was acting that way. Looking back the reason is entirely obvious, he had read the writing on the walls. Was Claudia right about Fray or was this a whole other thing? In the elevator it looked like he was practically seething and I think Rosemary was picking up on what he was angry about better than I had. I felt terrible about not being able to figure out what was going on but at that moment I was glad that if he was going to blow up it was going to be away from prying eyes. After what felt like an eternity the soft buzz of the elevator came to a halt and all of us stumbled into the main living room of our floor.

Rosemary turned to Fray once she had gotten past the entryway. “Is it the Games Fray? Is that why you’re so pissed?”

“No I’m angry that I didn’t get enough to eat,” He said sarcastically, “Yeah of course it’s the Games, what else would I be angry about?”

“And you don’t think I’m upset about it too?”

“Yeah I know you’re upset but even though you’ve got that big brain of yours you haven’t figured it all out yet! Out in that arena we’re going to get killed and right now we’re being paraded around like we’re not even people! If they wanted to they could force us to kill each other for their own sick amusement!” Fray shouted.

“You seriously think I don't know that!”

“Oh please Rosemary don’t lie, none of us are impressed. Did you know that Mom made me promise to look after you just like she always does? That means if it comes down to it I’ll be the one to die for the family. There are so many things I wanted to do with my life and now I have to sacrifice it all just to be a good puppet! I’ve just changed hands from one puppet master to another!"

“I never asked you to do any of that!” She shot back. “You don’t have to look after me. I can handle myself!”

Fray ran his fingers through his hair and his voice cracked slightly. “I’m not having this conversation right now. I’m a lost cause here and I hate having to say that. Everyone cares more about my little sister than me and that's going to cost me my life.”

“Fray that’s-” Claudia started.

“Oh shut it Claudia, I already figured out your little plan already and there’s nothing you can say now to deny that. I’ll play your game in public but in private just leave me alone.”

Fray turned and stormed into one of the spare bathrooms down the hall. The door slammed behind him and I heard the lock beeping behind him. Rosemary looked just as lost for words because of this as she did at the Reaping. Claudia gave me a “I’ll handle this one” look and jogged down the hall to the bathroom door. I gave her an approving nod and took Rosemary’s hand. I felt bad about Fray and wanted to at least make it up to one of the siblings. 

“Why don’t you come with me?” I offered.

She didn't respond but she didn't fight back as I led her to her bedroom and sat her down on the pastel green duvet of her bed. I slowly undid her intricate hairstyle and she seemed to understand my gesture and kicked off her shoes and took off her jewelry. She remained in place as I turned and pulled the most comfortable looking set of night clothes from the closet and set it next to her. 

“I’ll get you something hot to drink while you change clothes,” I said.

I didn't wait for her to respond and left the room. Whenever I had a fight with my parents all I wanted to do was get into some comfortable clothes and have a nice hot drink. I assumed she lived in a small apartment back home where you had to save every drop of water and grain of bread, so the two of them must have held it in for years. At the dining room table I found an Avoxx setting the table for a quick dinner we were going to have later.

“Sorry to bother you but could I get a cup of hot chocolate?” I asked.

He nodded before setting down the dishes in his hands on the table and walking to the kitchen. My family had a few avoxxs and I always felt bad for them, I’m not sure why I did though. I thought that Avoxxs must all have done bad things to meet their fate but something about not being able to speak and not being allowed to do what I wanted always scared me. Now I fear that fate even more. Out of a strange sense of obligation and fear of being like them I always tried to be polite to them. They must have seen it as me mocking them but I tried nonetheless. 

After a few minutes he returned with a mug and handed it to me. Almost as quickly as he stopped earlier he began setting out dishes and napkins on the table again. I thanked him and quickly walked back to Rosemary's room. I was away too long and I worried about what I would find when I opened the door. When I entered I saw she had draped the dress and the rest of the outfit on a chair in the corner of the room. Rosemary, on the other hand, was standing by the large window at the side of the room and looking out at the city.

“I’ve got the hot drink,” I announced.

“I’m sorry you’re having to deal with the two of us right now, we’re not like this most of the time,” She said almost as quietly as a whisper.

“Don’t apologize,” I said and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“I just don’t know what I did wrong. He’s acted so normal his whole life but apparently he’s been constantly looking out for me and is going to sacrifice himself. He knows I didn’t ask for any of that but he's still angry and still going to do it," She said and turned to look at me. "Am I terrible person? Am I really in the wrong like Fray seems to think?"

I considered my next words very carefully. Even then I had some inkling of the realization that neither of them was truly in the wrong. Neither of them had any control of the situation, least of all Fray. I want to hit myself for antagonizing Fray like that but no matter how much I wish I could go back and change things I just can't. 

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Then what did I do to make him so angry?”

“Nothing, sometimes people are just like that,” I said. “Some people just get dealt a bad hand, at no fault to anyone else, especially not to people like you. What he does is his choice and whatever consequences he faces are his own, not yours. I may not have been an escort long but I have seen how tributes resign themselves to accepting that they’re going to die. Even if there is a chance they’ll escape and they choose not to take it. You’re only a lost cause if you don’t believe in that chance.”

If given a chance Fray would've taken it. 

“What do I do?” She asked.

I set down the mug on the bedside table and pulled her into a small hug. I wasn't sure what to say in this situation so I made something up that I think might help, “You’ve got to think about yourself, you’re only hurting yourself when you try to help someone who doesn’t want it.”

“Thanks.”

I let go of that hug a minute or two later and let her sip on the hot chocolate. I sat with her until she started to seem a little better and like she would be okay being alone for a while. In these situations you also have to give people space but I was worried about Claudia’s efforts to draw Fray out of the bathroom before dinner. Out in the hall I saw that she was just barely coaxing him into his bedroom. She met my eye and I gave her a nod to let her know of my success. She shook her head before disappearing past the doorway. I could tell that Fray wouldn't be joining us for dinner and I thought that night that both he and Claudia were right about one thing, he was a lost cause.

But he wasn't. Not really. If we had just given a chance, if we had just done more things would've been much different. 

CLOSEFILETILED- WE COULD'VE DONE MORE

OPENFILETITLED- A MOUNTAIN OF LIES

FILEAUTHOR(S): ROSEMARY

We all do little things to justify our positions even if they're wrong. We make up small lies and stories to tell that would make it seem like we were in the right, not somebody else. It only becomes obvious to us that our positions are wrong when those stories and lies we created pile up and become so large that you just can't ignore them anymore. Bad things happen when you don't notice that mountain and refuse to listen when others point it out. 

I told myself that I was just looking after myself because trying to help Fray would only take me down with him. 

That just was not true.

CLOSEFILETITLED- A MOUNTAIN OF LIES

OPENFILETITLED- IGNORING THE OBVIOUS

FILEAUTHOR(S): ROSEMARY

I sipped the drink Relina brought me while wrapped up in a spare blanket I found in the wardrobe and watched the lights of the city. A few blocks over on someone's rooftop I could make out twinkling pink and red lights with people moving around in them. Maybe someone from the Capitol was right for once, I told myself, maybe I should think more about myself. But every time that thought arises I felt like I was being stabbed in the stomach, even though rationally speaking I thought I knew who was really correct. Twenty minutes later she called me to dinner and I meet her and Claudia at the new dining table. Without Fray here the strangeness of the Capitol seemed even more alien. I felt like I’d been transported to a place where I didn't belong and the silence of our meal didn't help with that feeling either. It wasn't until Claudia interrupted this silence that I started to feel like I was actually really in the Capitol again again.

“Fray isn’t doing too well,” She informed me.

I pushed around the food on my plate. “Figures.”

“The feelings aren’t new y’know, the fear of the Games,” She gestured with her hands to indicate something getting bigger, “amplified them I guess.”

I didn't want to hear about that sort of thing so in an attempt to change the subject I asked, "So what did he mean about this ‘plan’ of yours?”

“Oh, that. I’m not supporting him, with sponsors I mean. I had my doubts about doing it before but tonight confirmed my choice,” Claudia said nonchalantly. 

I wanted to throw up as soon as she said that but I fought the urge and glanced over at Relina. She looked visibly uncomfortable too and I wondered why she looked so uncomfortable if she likely already knew about this plan.

“I don’t like it.”

“You don’t have to, that’s the whole point. My job is to get one whoever I think has the most potential back home, and right now I think it’s you. I know you’re upset about your brother not going home, I would be too, but the Games only have one winner.”

How could she have been so heartless? How is she still so heartless? She was once in the same position so she should have had some empathy for us.

After dinner I walked back down the bedrooms and pressed my ear to Fray’s closed door. I didn't know what I was trying to listen for but I expected to hear something, anything at all would’ve been enough but I didn't get what I wanted. On the other side of the door I didn’t hear anything at all and I made the walk of shame back to my room. I had waited a few minutes for him and hoped, despite my best interests, that we could make up and go back to the way things were before. That of course didn’t happen and I had to face the reality that we just couldn't do that.

I took an extra long shower that night even though I had gotten thorough cleaning at the Training Center, hoping the steaming hot water would somehow help my situation or drown out my sorrows. It didn’t actually help of course but at least it calmed me down about that situation a little. I dried off and got ready for bed even though I didn’t actually want to. My mind was still racing as I climbed into bed and stared at the ceiling hoping for sleep to come.

CLOSEFILETITLED- IGNORING THE OBVIOUS


	8. Doomsday Prepping

OPENFILETITLED- DOOMSDAY

FILEAUTHOR(S): ROSEMARY

dooms·day

/ˈdo͞omzˌdā/ noun

the last day of the world's existence.

a time or event of crisis or great danger.

Funny how that second definition fit so well the scenario we were in. Fray and I were in so much danger and faced the end of our short existences. I read about how a couple hundred years ago people constantly thought Doomsday was coming and were always preparing for the day it would come. For them it was a gradual process as natural disasters ripped across North America and as the water levels rose. For me there was no uncertainty of when it would come. Just a few days more I told myself over and over while I was in that cursed skyscraper they call the Training Center. I the day I have to return to it every year.

CLOSEFILETITLED- DOOMSDAY

OPENFILETITLED- DOOMSDAY PREPPING

FILEAUTHOR(S): ROSEMARY

The next morning I awoke to the sounds of an Avoxx taking my parade dress off the chair and replacing it with what I could only assume was my training outfit. It was a shirt, jacket, and a pair of trousers that were mostly black with stripes of red and white in a few places. I glanced over at the clock and turned it on. It read 7:00 AM and I decided that’s late enough to climb out of bed. So I took my shower, pulled my hair into a ponytail and put on the clothes laid out for me. It was only when I was about to put the jacket on that I noticed the number 8 plastered on the side. I found something a little funny about the fact that they have to label what district we were from on some clothing. They tore us away from our families, so we could be paraded in front of the country in a death game but they couldn't even bother to remember which one of us came from which district.

A knock sounded at the door and I opened it. Relina was standing outside in her second almost normal outfit in a row, a lavender dress with a dark blue blazer over top. It felt like I was gaining a little more respect for her everyday I was stuck in this situation. After the previous night I realized she wasn't a bad person at all or oblivious to the realities of the game, I thought that she genuinely wanted me to win and go home. This was around the time that I was starting to consider her a friend and I'm glad I didn't change my mind on that. Unfortunately I hadn't 100% figured out yet if she cares about what might happen to Fray but I could tell that she had at least taken a step forward.

“Good you’re up, breakfast is almost ready.”

“Is Fray up yet?” I asked.

“He is,” She answered, “but he’s not much better from last night, it might be better just to leave him be.”

I followed her to the dining room we ate at the night before and sat down next to Fray at the table. All the other times we had eaten meals together it had always been Claudia and Aurelia on one side and us tributes on the other. Fray probably didn't want to see me at that point but at least at meal times he couldn't avoid me. He was wearing a similar outfit to me and that made me assume everyone was going to wear something like that. Claudia joined us not long after wearing a more formal outfit than usual.

“The two of you are going to have training over the course of the next four days. Three with the rest of the tributes focusing on combat and survival skills and the fourth day will be focused on getting ready for your interview,” Claudia told us. “The basics of combat are good skills to have but they aren’t everything, I’d learn about medicinal herbs, getting food, starting fires and finding or making shelter.”

After breakfast Fray and I took the elevator down to the main training floor, tributes from a few of the other districts were there already waiting for everyone else. Training didn’t officially start until nine so the rest of the tributes had a few minutes to arrive. I felt uncomfortable around the other tributes, we had been in the same room before but none of us were really allowed to interact with anyone outside of our ‘entourage' at that point. Now there was no one to stop us from interacting other than guards posted around the room that could stop a fight if it ever broke out. These were the people I would have to kill or would kill me. I found it strange that the Capitol thought we would get along for a few days but it's obvious to me now. They wanted us to form relationships with each other, good or bad, all to make the show more interesting. 

The tributes from the same districts were sticking together as they arrived and it would probably better if Fray and I stuck together at least for those few minutes before training and during lunch. I didn't want to make either of us look weak, so I made sure to stand with him for the few minutes of waiting. He didn't look at me or talk to me at all but from what I could tell it was a common choice among the tributes. I breathed a sigh of relief because Fray had kept his word about keeping up appearances in public. The careers would have it out for us if they knew Fray wasn't actually doing all that well. Eventually the careers and the rest of the tributes step into the crowd and Alba Redwood, the head Trainer, stood in front of us on a slightly raised portion of the floor.

“It’s good to see you all and to welcome you to group training sessions. There are a few mandatory activities you will have to complete over the next couple of days but the rest are optional,” Redwood said, “The best advice I can give you is to focus on survival skills. As good as it is to know how to defend yourself the elements can be deadlier than your fellow tributes.”

Chatter erupted in the crowd as we were herded towards the area holding our mandatory activity of the day. The trainer heading this particular activity shot us a dirty look on the walk over and the group silenced themselves immediately, well most of us did anyway. The careers acted like this entire situation was a joke and maybe to them it truly was one, until it wasn't. In that moment I wished I could insult them or badmouth them about the gravity of the situation but I shoved that urge aside, that’d get me killed eventually.

The mandatory activity of the day was somewhat like trying to pull yourself across monkey bars but the whole time you have to hold onto these rings. Slate and Marble, the tributes from two, excelled particularly at this but that didn't surprise me considering how buff they looked. I was somewhat jealous though that they got more food their whole lives to the point where they could maintain that muscle. When it came time for my turn I managed to make it most of the way across, this feat will probably come back to haunt me later. A girl from a district that doesn’t require tons of physical labor and isn’t wealthy somehow managed to have tons of upper body strength wasn't something they’d like.

As I walked away to the other stations I saw Fray starting to maneuver his way across some of the bars before stalking off to one of the stations in a more isolated area of the room. The careers dominated the combat areas and the isolated area was pretty far from them. A smart choice for Fray, they had seen his performance in comparison to mine and I guessed that right about then they saw him as dead meat. I was concerned that now it wouldn't just be the Game Makers messing with us but also the Careers. They seemed like they thought that they had to be the strongest and best tributes in the room.

After I finished the mandatory activity I took Claudia’s advice and spent time familiarizing myself with medicinal herbs and edible plants. I also thought it would be smart to learn about first aid in case I got injured more seriously in the arena so I made sure to head over to that station. I still don't know how I managed to memorize most of the medicinal and edible herbs by lunchtime that day. When the lunch bell sounded I had barely gotten into the first aid station, so I made a mental note to come back later. I had shared the stations with other tributes but none of us had interacted with each other which made me feel better. I was glad most of the group didn’t seem to be in a talkative mood, I didn't think I could have handled knowing them. If I made it past the Blood Bath that would make it harder to get through everything.

The cafeteria was in a small alcove off the main room of the training floor. Metal tables with benches attached were spaced out in front of a small kitchen. The kitchen had a wall in front of it with only a long open window there for us to look in and pick out a meal. Everyone got in line and grabbed trays while the careers cut in front of everyone taking what they wanted first. I could tell that the boy from twelve was so angry at this and was about to punch one of them. The girl from his district had to hold him back, which was smart on her part. You don’t want the careers to be mad at you because they’ll make you their first target.

“You’ve got to stay back, do you want to get killed?” I heard the girl say quietly through clenched teeth.

“They can’t walk all over us like that Heather,” He muttered back.

“Yes they can!”

Once I filled my tray with food I sat down at one of the metal tables furthest from the careers. The food wasn't as rich as what we were served on the trains or back on or floor of the building but it was still more filling than what we got back home. Fray sat down next to me, the tray clattering slightly as he set it down. He immediately started eating and didn't look up at me at all.

“Look Fray, I’m sorry about Mom I really didn’t know,” I said.

Fray rolled his eyes so dramatically I can practically hear them turning back in his head even though I was too nervous to even look up at him. “Whatever you say Rosemary.”

He clearly hadn't forgiven me and didn't want to talk to me at all. I glanced up at the line in front of me for a moment and saw the girl from eleven start to walk towards my table. She has chestnut brown hair and looked almost a year younger than me. She was one of those types you see in school that was really bad around people which was going to be really bad for me in this situation. She had accidentally bumped into Cedar, the boy from seven, but he looked like he barely noticed it. I looked back down at my food and kept eating quietly hoping she wouldn't actually sit with us. We had been at the first-aid station together and she seemed pretty good at it but I hadn’t said anything to her, why was she walking towards the table?

“C-can I sit here?” She asked.

I looked up and saw that girl from eleven, looking even more nervous than before. I cursed quietly under my breath, she was going to try and sit with me. I really didn't want the attention she was going to bring with her.

“I suppose,” I said apprehensively.

“I’m Sprout,” She said and then quickly began eating.

“Rosemary, that’s Fray,” I replied and gestured to him.

“What?”

I let out a sigh of annoyance and looked back up at her. “My name, it’s Rosemary and that’s Fray.”

“Oh.”

Luckily she didn't draw attention to us for the rest of the time I was forced to sit with her and although she tried to start conversations with Fray and I, they all ended as soon as they started. After lunch everyone returned their trays, or left them at the tables, and walked back to the training area. I didn't really get why she was trying with me, I was trying not to attract attention to myself. I returned to the first-aid station and continued where I left off. In the past people were always getting injured by the old machines but the district didn't have much in the way of doctors or healers, so if your injuries were severe enough it was all over. From years of experience I knew a thing or two about scrapes and cuts but not much else. There was just so much to learn and absorb into my long term memory that I stayed there for the rest of the day.

“Try throwing the knife at my chest now,” The trainer ordered.

“Okay.”

The trainer had a thick vest on and when I threw the knife it landed in his chest area. He pulled it out and tossed it back to me. "Good, now try doing it when I'm moving."

I fumbled a little but ended up catching it and continuing the exercise. By the end of the day I wasn’t as good as a career but I was at least more prepared than some of the other tributes when it came to knives and fighting. Some of them expected to find large weapons right off the bat and were focusing on those. I found it ridiculous that non-career tributes thought they were going to find something good without getting killed beforehand.

Fray still didn’t say a word to me and I never caught sight of him that day. I was focusing on myself but that didn’t mean I didn't worry about him. I barely saw him and when I did, he was at stations that weren’t all that useful or at least the ones I thought weren’t useful. I caught a glimpse of him at one point and he had this really sad look on his face. I could only assume he was feeling worse about our whole situation but these past few days I hadn't been able to read him like I used to. I knew what had caused this change but I wasn't quite able to figure out how this change was affecting him. I don't think I will ever be able to understand it. 

CLOSEFILETITLED- DOOMSDAY PREPPING


	9. Talent Show

OPENFILETITLED- TALENT SHOW

FILEAUTHOR(S): ROSEMARY

Did you know that when Panem was known as North America they held events called "Talent Shows?" I've been watching the scant few videos remaining of them and I find them eerily similar to the evaluations Game Makers use to score tributes before the Games. Most commonly a young person will be placed in front of a panel of judges and the judges pick who they personally think was the best. The difference of course is that the young people then wanted to be there and enjoyed the things they were doing while we didn't want to be there at all and feared messing up. For them messing up meant not winning anything and going home. Oh, how I envy them. For us it meant life and death and if we messed up it likely contributed to our ends. 

It's funny how the echoes of society before the floods and warming climate still influence life and society of today. I find it morbidly funny that something innocent was twisted into something so wicked. What made them think, "Yes, this is what we should do. Have a talent show where the only thing they win is their lives!"

CLOSEFILETITLED- TALENT SHOW

OPENFILETITLED- NUMBERS DETERMINE EVERYTHING

Breakfast that morning wasn’t as quiet as the past few mornings had been. Claudia had been all about preparing us for the private training sessions with the Game Makers. Until that morning I hadn’t realized how complicated the strategy behind scoring could be. Most of the time the careers win and they usually get something between 8 and 10. Being from a non-career district however the decision to try for a good score got a bit more complicated.

“Sure a good score can get you lots of sponsors but it’ll also get the careers breathing down your neck in the arena. A bad score can get the careers to ignore you but you won’t get any sponsors,” Claudia explained, “It’s a complicated game but I’d try to get an eight, no lower and not too much higher. The careers hate looking weak compared to tributes from other districts.”

“So what sort of thing can we do for the evaluation?” I asked.

“Pretty much anything but it’s better to go for something flashy. Even if you’re better at something basic, like building tools out of practically nothing, it’s not going to get their attention and to get them to give you a good score,” Claudia said.

“Like close combat?” I asked.

“If you can pull it off, that’d be perfect,” She said.

The third day’s activity had us focusing on agility, climbing ropes and running and jumping on this odd platform off to the side. I wasn't very good at climbing but the running and jumping had me feeling at home. I made sure to learn how to make shelter and fires afterwards too. The shelter part didn’t take me long though since it was mostly weaving and knowing how to balance everything on the supports properly. Sort of like managing all the different parts of the machines back home to make sure the clothes came out with proper shape and quality. Fray and I still avoided each other but kept our stations somewhat close together to keep up appearances. 

I had to wait awhile for my private session with the Game Makers that afternoon. Fifteen tributes, including Fray, went before me and sometimes their ‘acts’ took awhile. I couldn't even imagine being from twelve, I would have ended up being dead last. Just the thought of sitting there any longer worrying about a score that could determine whether I lived or died for longer than I already had to was unnerving. All this waiting and anxiety really made the “enjoy your final days of life” sentiment people from Capitol keep saying seem really stupid. How could I see this as an opportunity to enjoy stuff for a few days when I was worried about every little detail of everything and the impact it could have on my potentially very short life.

“Laurel Carpenter,” a machine-like voice read out.

A girl with blond hair and short pigtails stood up and walked past the boy from her district as he left the room. The massive double doors slamming shut behind her made Fray flinch beside me. He was nervous, that much is clear. I was betting it was not only because of the scoring but also the noise probably reminded him of the cannon shot noise they use in the Games. I wasn't surprised that he was nervous about the private examinations though. His talk with Claudia this morning didn’t go as well as mine did.

“So Fray what’ll it be for you?” She asked,

“I honestly don’t know,” He said and placed his face in his hands for a moment.

“If you’re really not sure if it’ll be something flashy enough then pick what you’re best at. I know I said it had to be but I was just trying to give the two of you a push. A five is better than a two.”

“Look I just don’t know, I don’t want to make the wrong choice!” He said, his voice rising slightly.

Claudia let out a small sigh and set down her spoon. “Just make a choice and I’ll do my best to support you with this.”

“I’ll figure it out, just leave alone to think about it for a while. I don’t want you breathing down my neck, that’s the last thing I need right now,” Fray said.

“I was just trying to help you but if you’re going to be like this fine,” She said. “Just don’t waste these few days to prepare, this is your life we’re talking about and every moment counts.”

Claudia stood up ready to leave the table when Relina grabbed her wrist. 

“Don’t yell at him, that’s not going to help the situation at all,” Relina told her.

Claudia yanked her wrist free and before leaving the room said, “You think I don’t know that?”

That whole time I just felt like a bystander, unable to do or say anything to help. It infuriated me and I wanted to say or do anything. He was my brother and I didn't want to lose him. We were sitting on benches waiting to be called in for judging and I realized that he probably still didn't know what he was going to do. I glanced over at him and saw this blank look on his face and it worried me even more. The other tributes at least looked scared or nervous but at least they weren't totally checked out. Something was very wrong with him and I felt like I had to do something! He was about to be called in and he couldn't go on like this. 

“Fray, you can do this, you know that right?” I asked.

“Whatever Rosemary, leave-” He started to say.

“Fray Cross,” A mechanical voice said.

Laurel walked through the massive doorway and past us quickly with tears visibly forming in her eyes, she must not have done well. Fray stood up and entered the room almost as quickly as Laurel had left it, leaving me in the dust. The door slammed even louder than before behind him. This time I was the one to flinch and I could tell I wasn't the only one in the room who did too. I had just been thinking about me and Fray’s lives but of course they all faced the same fate. We were all terrified and I'm still surprised more of them hadn't started breaking down but my perspective was limited. I couldn't see into their lives so it was entirely possible that my perception of them at the time was wrong.

While I was waiting I tried my hardest to hear what was going on in the other room. My efforts were wasted of course and I didn't hear anything that was going on through the thick stone walls. The doors and walls must have been thick and soundproof which was a smart idea I guess, that way the other tributes can’t hear what’s going on and use it to their advantage. Fray wasn't in there long before he came storming out of the room, doors slamming hard behind him. By the time I had registered what was going on and was about to stand up and ask him what happened but he had already reached the end of the hall. I wished I could go after him but I couldn't, I was about to be called in. If I didn't get scored I’d suffer the consequences. 

‘Just try to remember what Relina said,’ I thought, ‘You’ve got to think more about yourself sometimes, you can’t help people who don’t want it.’

“Rosemary Cross.”

I stood up and prepared myself for what I was going to have to face behind that door. Then with one swift motion I pulled open the heavy door and walked inside. The room was filled with weapons and materials to be used in various boxes and stations. The ceilings were high and in the wall to the right there was a room high above me, dozens of old men sitting around tables with wine and feasts. I was lucky I didn’t have to come later because at that point they all would have been too drunk to give me a proper score or pay attention. 

I walked over to a small wrack of knives off to the side of the room and gestured for my old trainer to join me. He nodded and pulled on the padded vest from the previous training sessions. We met in an area filled with obstacles that mimicked the terrain of an imaginary arena. I turned to make sure the Game Makers were paying attention and noticed a few were so I let out a sigh of relief and gestured for the trainer to get started.

My trainer and I leapt into action, trying to make the other give in. We bounded from rock to rock and tree to tree. He tried to put me in choke holds and stab me with a sword he pulled from another the rack. I didn't always manage to avoid getting put into a chokehold or evade his kicks and attempts to trip me but I still somehow managed to stay in the fight. Eventually he punched at me and as his knuckles were about to graze my cheek I grabbed a hold of his arm and dragged him to the ground. My arms ached with the movement and I regretted it immediately. This man must have seventy pounds on me easily and it took all of my strength to pull him down. Blood was rushing to my face as he attempted to pick up his sword but I quickly kicked it out of reach. I leapt on top of him and held him down while keeping the knife centimeters from his neck.

“I guess I’ve lost,” the trainer said and raised a hand to signal defeat.

I staggered away out of breath, with a dull ache in my shoulders and put the knife back in its place. Leaving that room I felt so much better than when I entered it, mentally that is. I’d be covered in bruises soon and I was completely out of breath. I was so worried about doing bad, but I had a feeling I may have overdone it and the careers would soon come after me. I pulled open the door, headed for the elevator slowly and tried to even out my breaths. The score would be announced after dinner, so I'd just have to wait it out until then. 

CLOSEFILETITLED- NUMBERS DETERMINE EVERYTHING

OPENFILETITLED- RECONCILIATION

FILEAUTHOR(S): RELINA

“So how did you think you did?” I heard Romulous ask Rosemary.

“That’s something I’d like to know,” Claudia said.

“Decent,” Rosemary said with a certain note of uncertainty in her voice.

I let out a sigh of relief as I entered the massive living room. Claudia, Romulous, and Rosemary were all sitting on the couch in front of the television. Rosemary had changed out of her training uniform and into a simple green dress that somewhat resembled her reaping clothes. Remus and Fray on the other hand were tucked away in the corner of the room beside the massive windows giving off a view of the city. Fray hadn’t changed out of his uniform but had taken off the jacket. I couldn’t hear a word of what they were saying, which I found concerning, so I joined them so I could investigate.

“It couldn’t have been that bad,” Remus said in an attempt to reassure Fray.

“Everything alright?” I asked.

“Fray thinks he failed his evaluation,” Remus answered.

“I’m sure you didn’t,” I said.

“That’s what you think,” Fray said.

“There’s no need to get rude about it, I mean-” I started to say.

“Sure there is,” He said loudly.

The conversation in the room suddenly died and Claudia and Romulous turned to see what was wrong. Rosemary didn’t look over or even say a word, she just sat there staring at her feet. The mood in the room had taken an awkward turn for the worse and I could tell the two stylists didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even know what sat to him and at this point I don’t think Claudia wanted to deal with him even though she always knew how to come back at people and make them feel about the things they said. 

“What are you all staring at?” He shouts and storms out of the room.

I started to go after him but Claudia stopped me, “Don’t bother, he’s only going to hear what he wants to hear. I’ll tell him his score later, if he’ll listen.”

“But-”

“Trust me, this is for the best,” She interrupted.

“It’s almost time for the broadcast, why don’t we all sit down and watch it,” Remus suggested. 

“Good idea,” Romulous said.

We all sat down on the couch and I turned the television on. The broadcast started not long after and we could finally view the scores. I just hoped that at least Rosemary did as good as she thought she did. I needed at least one win and something to work with if Claudia is going to get her sponsors. Once the actual games began there wouldn't be much I could do for her except feed ideas to Claudia and watch. 

The scores for the districts before hers were just about normal. The careers get their usual eight to ten scores, the boy from seven, Cedar, got an eight somehow and the rest got middling scores. Finally it was time for district eight and I could feel the tension rising. Everyone wanted Fray and Rosemary to do well and for one of them to win by the end of the month.

“And Fray Cross of district eight receives a score of four,” Vine said in a somewhat disappointed tone.

Everyone lets out sighs of disappointment. So Fray had been right, he had gotten the bad score he thought he would but what happened in the showcase? What had he done that was so bad that he got a four? Everyone seemed to have similar questions but they quieted down quickly so they could hear Rosemary’s score getting announced.

“Rosemary Cross, his younger sister, has earned a score of eight,” He said.

“Great job!” I exclaimed.

“I can definitely get you a few sponsors and hopefully that score will keep the careers off your back,” Claudia said.

We continued to watch the show, but only out of obligation. The rest of the tributes got the scores we expected, except the boy from eleven who scored a ten. I was pretty confused by this, everyone from outside the career districts don't really get anything above a seven or an eight. For someone from an outlying district to get a ten means they were really someone to look out for. When the final score was announced I quickly turned off the television and the room erupted with chatter, multiple conversations taking up the area. People were either talking strategy or the surprising results of the scores and I couldn’t help but drift towards the strategy side between Claudia and Rosemary.

“What I’m really concerned about is Fray’s score, not yours, you’re going to get sponsors and most of the careers scored above you so they’re not going to go on a vengeance streak,” Claudia said.

“I should probably be looking after myself but seriously, a four?” Rosemary said exasperatedly. “The Careers will think he’s a weak link to get killed off at the bloodbath and be done with it. Not to mention the fact that the sponsors aren’t going to want to go near him.”

“This is probably a long shot but maybe he’s trying to throw everyone off, even us,” She replied.

“I hope he is.”

Over the course of the evening the entourage thinned out as everyone left or went off to bed. It wasn’t until I was about to go to bed that I noticed the light coming from Fray’s cracked open door. The light from his room came spilling out into the hallway and I moved out of view so they wouldn’t see me. I could hear Rosemary talking to Fray, something I didn’t quite expect. They had become so distant and now they were actually on speaking terms again! Plus with Fray’s upset earlier I hadn’t expected that he’d be willing to talk to anyone, much less the sister he didn't want responsibility over anymore.

“-know you don’t want to talk to me right now, and you don’t have to, but in less than forty eight hours we’re going to be out in that arena and I have this really bad feeling that we won’t see each other again,” Rosemary said.

“I know, I know and you’re right I don’t want to talk to you or anyone right now but I probably should anyway. I can’t be like this forever and I’d hate to go out regretting the way I’ve been,” Fray said and I could hear him walking around.

“Regardless of how you’ve been acting you’re still my older brother and I still care about you. No matter what happens here or out there that won’t change. They can’t take that from us.”

“Promise me something, if one of us gets out make sure Mom and Dad don’t lose it or force this sort of thing on our younger sisters. Promise me if one of us gets out we won’t have any regrets,” Fray said.

“I promise.”

CLOSEFILETITLED- RECONCILIATION


	10. Last Ditch Effort

OPENFILETITLED- WE COULD NEVER BE FRIENDS

FILEAUTHOR(S): ROSEMARY

Over the few years I've been a mentor I've met a lot of the other victors and have even managed to form friendships with a few. Despite our differing backgrounds and Games I've noticed a few overall personalities among the mentors. There are those who resorted to morphine, drugs and alcohol, the cunning and cruel who seem unaffected by their games, those of us who still struggle with what happened but haven't turned to drugs and the unreadable few. 

The morphlings, as we've taken to calling them, mostly stick to themselves but are generally kind people if don't catch them when they're in withdrawal. The cunning and cruel stay amongst their own kind but I sometimes I have a flicker of respect for their strategy. I usually make friends with people like me, those who struggle with what happened and haven't turned to drugs, because our shared mindsets just make our conversations and the time we spend together easier. It's the few mentors that are completely unreadable that I steer clear of. It scares me how unaffected or seemingly unaffected they are by what happened. 

There are just some mentors I just can't get a read on and Claudia is one of them. Why is she so cold and calculating? Has she been affected by the Games and does she have any regrets about what happened? Does she enjoy being a mentor and watching the tributes die? Despite the time we spend together the two of us could never be friends. She scares me.

CLOSEFILETITLED- WE COULD NEVER BE FRIENDS

OPENFILETITLED- LAST DITCH EFFORT

FILEAUTHOR(S): ROSEMARY

That morning I woke up early, I didn’t have to get up for another hour but I decided to climb out of bed anyway. I threw the curtains aside and watched the sun rise over the mountains and the skyscrapers of the Capitol. This was the last morning before my entire life changed forever and I worried at the time that I wouldn't make it out. I thought that even if I did survive I won’t come out of that arena the same, all the victors never do. I had no idea how different I would be and I couldn't have predicted the extent of it. Fray would be dead and chances are it would be because I didn’t do enough. All I wanted to do right then is to climb back into bed and pretend none of this is happening.

Finally I turned away from the window and walked into the bathroom to take a shower. All this luxury they were throwing at us before we died didn't really mean anything, not really. It’s just a façade of kindness they want to put up, to make this whole punishment seem not as bad as it really is. To make themselves feel better about what they're doing and to perpetuate those little stories they tell themselves. After finishing in the shower I got ready for the day but I wasn't really sure what preparing for the interviews entailed and I hoped that it wouldn't be too difficult

Claudia knocked on my door and poked her head in, “Breakfast is in five, be there. There’s some important stuff we’ve got to talk about.”

I gave a nod in response and finished up what I was doing before heading out to the dining room. I heard Relina getting Fray out of bed while passing through the hallway and smiled a little. My olive branch seemed to go well the previous night but that still doesn’t change Fray’s behavior. I knew that there was no way to change him back into the regular older brother that I knew no matter how much I wanted to. Like everything else he was completely different and everything I thought I knew was no longer true.

Claudia was already at the dining room table when I reached it. The Avoxes were setting the plates full of eggs, rolls, bacon and fruit down in the center of the table almost like what Relina called 'a buffet'. I let out a small shudder at the sight of the avoxxes and It wasn't because I see them as traitors or anything, it’s the thought that if I stepped out of line I could have ended up just like them. Having my tongue cut out and forced to become another one of the Capitol’s slaves. I thought I’d be used to them by the time this final day arrived but I could never shake that feeling of dread from them. 

I sat down across from Claudia and waited there with her. The air of the room was tense and if it weren’t for her sipping on a cup of coffee you probably could have heard a pin drop. Since the train this atmosphere has slowly been amping up, it wasn’t noticeable at first but now you couldn't stop paying attention to it. We all thought that this wasn't going to end well and even though Fray and I weren't in an arena every move could mean life or death. Relina and Fray joined us after a few minutes and breakfast finally started. The tension broke in the room somewhat and I felt like I could breath again.

“The two of you are going to be spending four hours with me and Relina separately. Just to prepare you for the interviews and to make you look good so the sponsors and people of the Capitol will like you,” she said. “Then your stylists will get you ready and the interviews will start. You’ll get five minutes with Vine, use them wisely.” 

“Rosemary, you’re with me first,” Relina said.

The private session room was not nearly as large or fancy as the Training Center which I guessed made sense. This room was only used one day and by two tributes while the training center was for two dozen tributes and was used multiple days. One wall of the room was covered in mirrors while the rest were painted an odd shade of green. To one side a few trunks were set up and to another corner sat two armchairs similar to the ones I had seen in past interviews. 

“We’ve got lots to do, so hurry up and put these on,” Relina said and pushed a pair of high heels and a plain floor length dress into my arms.

I quickly changed clothes behind Aurelia’s back and of course the heels were several inches taller than the ones I wore on the chariot. I had thought those were bad but these were ten times worse. I struggled to stay balanced and not trip on the fabric of the dress while also maintaining good posture. Even when I didn’t have to walk around in the heels I still struggled to get a hold of the whole ‘proper’ thing. With the way she talked it seemed like every movement I was supposed to make had to be preplanned. I was never a tomboy per se, but this level of ‘ladylikeness’ made me incredibly uncomfortable. 

“So what’s up with you and Claudia?” I asked as I was taking off my heels at the end of the session.

“What do you mean?”

“The two of you clearly don’t like each other, her more than you,” I said.

“I don’t think she likes anyone from the Capital to be honest since her Games were pretty rough. And it’s not like I dislike her, I just…” She trails off for a moment and forms her next sentence very carefully like she hadn't really voiced this opinion before. “Remember the Games from three years ago and how the boy from your district made it to the final eight.”

“Yeah, we thought we might get another Victor," I said and narrowed my eyes. "Where are you going with this?” 

“The way she sacrificed the girl and just let him go wild. I don’t know...something about it made me so uncomfortable. I don’t say this kind of thing often but...it made me feel like the Games were just wrong. I’m used to the usual fighting and bloodbaths but the way she handled it seemed so calculated...” Relina let the sentence trail off and she had a far off look in her eyes.

I slid my shirt over my head, my mind trying to figure out what I just heard. Someone from the Capitol admitted they didn’t like the Games, someone who worked for them even said that. I hadn’t given it a second thought when that girl died because I hadn’t realized that there was some thought behind it. Claudia had let her die, she didn’t care who died as long as one of her tributes made it through. 

“That being said, it’s probably better that you do have her. A few districts still don’t have victors and I’ll admit us escorts don’t know much about survival and the wilderness,” She said.

My whole training session with Claudia I tried not to think about what Relina and I had talked about. The coaching session with Claudia was similar to Relina’s in one regard, it was all a means to get the sponsors to like me. This time around however Claudia wanted me to come up with a believable act or likeable personality. Which I suppose was even harder than the whole posture and etiquette thing Relina had taught me. At least in the Games I wouldn’t have to keep using Relina’s tips but with this ‘act’ Claudia wanted me to keep up I'd have to be careful with every facial expression or noise I made.

“Whatever you end up choosing, make it something you can keep up. Consistency is key, if you can’t keep it up people will think you’re a fake and will stop liking you,” Claudia explained.

“I don’t really know how I’m going to keep this up in the arena,” I said. “In there I might have to do something to survive that’ll conflict with this ‘act’ you want me to keep up.”

She paused for a moment and stares into space. She looked like she was cooking something up in her head but what she was thinking of I couldn’t really tell. My stomach dropped and I have to look away for a second, this sort of calculation is exactly what Relina was talking about. The kind of strategy that didn’t care what it had to do as long as it won. Finally the corners of her mouth turned upwards and she looked back at me. Remembering that look in her eye is still enough to send my heart racing but I still can't figure out exactly what it was about that look. Out of context she would just look like a normal person smiling but in context...

“If there’s one thing I’ve been able to learn about you, it’s that you care a lot about what other people think and about those important to you. Focus on those things but don’t take it to an extreme like you did when you fought with Fray though,” she told me, “and if you do have to let that act slip in order to keep yourself alive, make sure they can tell you feel horrible about it. Knowing from experience, that last part shouldn’t be hard.”

CLOSEFILETITLED- LAST DITCH EFFORT

OPENFILETITLED- I WANT TO BELIEVE

FILEAUTHOR(S): RELINA

For a while now I've wanted to do more to stop what the Hunger Games and the oppression of the districts by the Capitol. As carefully as I can I've been looking for others who feel the same way and would be willing to act. If people like that truly are out there I haven't been able to find them. Maybe they're hiding and I'm too cautious, too afraid to take the risk of being caught. I want to believe that I'm not the only person in the Capitol and one of the few in Panem willing to do something. 

We need something or someone to spring us into action but how would we do that? How would we find them?

God, why am I such a coward?

I'm afraid just writing this record of what happened and what's happening. It puts not only me at risk but also Rosemary, her family, my family and any friends we may have made over the years. For all I know they've already found us out and Peace Keepers will break down our doors soon and drag us off to some prison or cold grave.

If they don't will anyone remember that we even existed or we will we just be statistics? Will this record mean anything? Will anything we've done matter in forty to fifty years time?

I want to believe that they will and that this will matter. I have to believe in that. 

CLOSEFILETITLED- I WANT TO BELIEVE

OPENFILETITLED- WHAT SHOULD I HAVE SAID?

FILEAUTHOR(S): RELINA

When I entered Fray's private lesson room I was still thinking about what the things Claudia had done a few years ago and the feeling that something was just wrong still gnawed at me. I had enjoyed the games but thinking about them critically...the happy memories of watch parties with my friends and seeing the interviews became tainted. 

My session with Fray didn’t go as good as with the one with Rosemary. He was more closed off and unwilling to play the game, even if it meant forfeiting his survival. If he was tired of looking after Rosemary you would think that he would be more willing to try something. I had no idea what to say to him to convince him to consider anything I was suggesting and it left a sick feeling in my stomach. Getting him up in the morning these past few days and getting him ready for the stylists was the only extent of time I spent with him one on one and at meal times what was I to say? Claudia has all the answers when it comes to survival but I just get them from place to place and show them how the play along with the Games.

“Try not to look so depressed,” I suggested.

“Well I’m never going to look really happy so why should I pretend?” Fray muttered.

“That’s not what I’m saying,” I said.

"Then what are you saying?" He asked. "That I have no right to express how I'm feeling because it would make the poor sad Game Makers upset?

"You have every right to feel upset but offending them could mean life or death!" I said. "Don't you want to at least try and go home."

"I do want to go home but I want to go home on my terms--not theirs," Fray said. 

I looked down at my hands and uncomfortably shifted a little bit in my seat. I suddenly felt right and there that the Hunger Games shouldn't exist. No punishment should be crueler than the crime and I didn't care that that meant treason. A teenage boy, a child, shouldn't have to play things by these rules or even have to play this sort of game. They shouldn't have to consider if they valued their life or their family's life more. What sort of system was I perpetuating?

"I wish you could too but right now that's not in the cards," I said.

"Of course a Capitol girl would say that," He scoffed. "You don't actually care about us."

"I do care," I protested, "truly!"

"Then do something!" Fray said. "I don't want to die but I also don't want my sister to die so I might live under this shitty system for another 60 years!"

I wished there was something I could do--to make this bearable for him or to stop this from continuing. For all I knew and for all I know now I'm the only one having these thoughts and what can one person do when I'm under threat of death or mutilation if I fail? I've always been such a coward and I was just playing along with the system because I benefit from it. We’re all just cogs in the same machine, performing our assigned jobs endlessly until we fall apart and everything breaks down. 

CLOSEFILETITLED- WHAT SHOULD I HAVE SAID?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my first drafts of the fic I made Claudia more likeable but honestly I thought it would make more sense and be more interesting if she was more cold, creepy and calculating. In the HG fics I've read I feel like the authors don't really consider that sometimes it takes that kind of personality to survive the Games. All the mentors seemed too likable and the books even referenced sometimes that the victors could be cunning and not great people.
> 
> Fair warning that this is the last chapter I had prewritten from the second draft of the fic so chapters might take a bit longer to come out. I never finished writing the first draft too and in that I only wrote up to chapter 15. I have basic outlines but I'll have to figure out how to put them into words.


	11. Interview

OPENFILETITLED- VANITY

FILEAUTHOR(S): ROSEMARY

One thing that has always bothered me about the Capitol is their obsession with their appearances and keeping up with 'the latest trend,' (whatever that's supposed to mean). Why are public appearances and their looks more important than anything else? There are a million and one problems in the world that if they put even 10% of their efforts into solving things would be a whole lot better. 

Maybe it's because they think the world's problems don't apply to them and with all their needs met they have to come up with new things to occupy their time. Media, clothes, makeup and experiencing suffering through proxy of the games without any of the real consequences that we faced. That we still face. 

I didn't realize it during my first games but it was sort of gross that during the games, the tour and during my time as a mentor they try to force these values on us. They think we don't care about these things because we're savages but in truth it's because we know there are other things that we should be worrying about. Real problems.

CLOSEFILETITLED- VANITY

OPENFILETITLED- INTERVIEW

FILEAUTHOR(S): ROSEMARY

That morning I thought I would have been sad or nervous when my training session with Claudia ended but that was far from the case. The sinking feeling I had was overwhelming and added on to the fear I was feeling about going into the arena the next morning everything felt unbearable. The prep team with their brightly colored hair and outfits were a welcome sight that signaled the end of my training session. As they brought in their boxes of tools and makeup and the bag containing my clothes Claudia left the room without a word. 

As soon as they had me sit still so they could do my hair, makeup and nails I immediately wanted it to be over. I wondered how had the patience for them to do this sort of thing the night of the parade. Applying makeup, doing my hair and making sure the dress was just right took forever. I had to sit still the whole time and had to wait for the que for when I could open my eyes or blink. The whole process was maddening and I just wanted to run off and hide in my room until the interviews. 

After what seemed like a few hours the crew finally finished and let me turn around to look at the mirrored wall behind me. 

"What do you think?" Romulous asked me.

I stood up and carefully walked towards the mirror so I could get a feel for how to walk in the shoes they had given me. The heels weren’t nearly as long as the ones I practiced with but I was still nervous that I’d trip on the dress I was wearing. It took me a moment to process the outfit they had created for me and the makeup they applied. I could hardly believe that I was the girl in the mirror. The dress was a deep green with sky blue trim and gold detailing and the front part fell to just above my knee while the back part flowed behind me. They had curled my hair into soft waves but had left it otherwise untouched other than a silver circlet that rested at the top of my forehead. I smiled a little.

"It's beautiful," I said quietly.

"That's what I thought you'd say," Romulous said. "I tried to reference your Reaping dress but I wanted to improve the ghastly thing. Make it something more noticeable to the untrained eye."

I wanted to shout at him for calling my mother's dress 'ghastly' but I held my tongue. I didn't think there was much point in trying to convince him not to be quite so rude about things from the districts. After a few minutes of practicing how to sit in the dress and walk in the heels I was led to the wings of stage where the interviews would be held. The rest of the tributes were already there and some staff-member had us line up in order of district and with girls of one district going ahead of the boy from theirs. This time around I would be going before Fray but of course we still had to wait until the tributes before us were done. I had a sinking suspicion that my feet and legs would be tired after standing for so long and like before the scoring I was glad that I wasn't farther back in the line. I glanced behind me and saw that Remus had put Fray into a casual suit that didn’t resemble his parade outfit or his reaping clothes at all.

The architects of the Training Center and the buildings for the Games must have really liked not letting us see what the other tributes were doing. The room to the private training session with the Game Makers had been closed off, the training sessions with our mentors and escorts had been closed off and the stage was partially blocked off by thick walls. I could make out when the audience laughed or made some other noise but I couldn't hear what the tributes or Vine were saying at all. From what I could tell the interviews with the careers went really well. Every thirty seconds or so I could hear the crowd laughing or making some noise of approval over something Vine or the tribute had said.

When it was finally my time to go on stage a crew member led me to space just out of view of the crowds and I took a moment to collect myself. I could do this and I wouldn't embarrass myself in front of the entire country. Through the curtains I caught a glimpse of the TV host and just the look of him made my eyes hurt from all those neon colors. Bacchus would have blended in with the massive crowds of Capitol people I had seen over the course of those few days--His suit was a hot pink and his hair was bright red to match. On the stage there were two white armchairs in the center and he stood right in front of the one farthest from me. 

“Please welcome to the stage everyone’s little sister, Rosemary Cross!” He yelled into the microphone and held his other arm out as a gesture for me to come out onto the stage. 

I held off the urge to barf a little in my mouth and quickly collected myself so I could go out onto the stage. That opening statement still grosses me out because who would happily stand by while they send their little sister to their deaths. Fray was upset the whole time about the situation but the people in the Capitol relished in the drama it caused. I took a deep breath and then walked out of the wings. First impressions are everything so I made sure that the dress flowed behind me and that I gave a quick smile to the crowds. When I finally sat down to Bacchus I immediately fixed my posture and kept that at the back of my mind the entire interview.

“I know there’s one thing everyone’s been wondering, what’s it like having your brother here with you?” He asked.

Of course that's what he would go for first and I internally groaned. Time to seem perky and okay with everything.

“Well, it’s been pretty much the same as its always been,” I said, “but now we really have to look after each other."

Maybe they wouldn't notice that I was annoyed if I simply implied and subtly hinted at how I really felt.

"He's your older brother right? Shouldn't he be looking after you?" Vine asked.

I shifted in my seat slightly but immediately stopped myself when I noticed that I was doing it. 

"Fray and I have always been close and kept each other's backs so..." I trailed off for a moment trying to think of a polite way to say what I wanted to say. "Now that we're going through one of the biggest challenges of our lives now more than ever we need to look after each other." 

Was that too controversial? Would the Game Makers be angry?

"I was never that close with my brother," Vine said. "So color me impressed."

He turned to the audience and let out a big smile. "Aren't you guys impressed?"

The crowd cheered and I gave them a meager smile. When they finally calmed down he turned back to me. “Now tell me, how’d you pull off that eight?”

I was glad he turned the attention away from Fray, but bringing up how I got that score...that’ll get the careers to want to kill me even more. I should really deflect and since I hadn't praised the capitol yet maybe I should. While preparing for this interview I hadn’t realized that I’d have to think this quickly and to even strategize what to say.

“I’m not sure myself but thank goodness the Game Makers thought my skills were good enough for it,” I said.

"Humbleness, I like that."

“Thank you, the people here are so kind.”

Before Vine had the chance to bring up any more touchy subjects the buzzer went off marking the end of the interview. I let a small sigh of relief that I wouldn't have to come up with more ways to dance around how I was really feeling. Vine and I stood up and shook hands, was it my hands that were sweaty or was it his? From the hot lights or the nerves I had it could've been either one of us. I gave his hand a good squeeze and turned back to the audience for a quick wave.

“What a handshake,” He exclaimed to the audience, “Well that’s been Rosemary Cross from District Eight!”

Once I was off the stage I was brought back to the room I was prepped for the interview and found Claudia and Relina waiting for me. Two fluffy couches had been brought in and were arranged in front of a large screen displaying the interviews. They didn't say much as I sat down next Relina but I wasn't offended though, all eyes in the room are fixed on Fray. Now that my interview had gone reasonably well they had to worry about him now.

“So how’s everything been so far?” Vine asked.

Vine had come up with what the Capitol would call really good questions for me and all he could come up with for Fray boiled down to, 'How's it going?' 

“Strange but I guess being in a new place is always a bit odd,” Fray replied quietly.

“How so?”

“Well we make all the clothes and textiles and stuff like that at home but I've never actually imagined them on people before.”

That drew a laugh from the audience and from Vine. Maybe Fray was going to do better than I thought he would.

“I suppose so," The Host said while trying to hold back more laughter. "So what you think about your sister joining you here?”

“I don’t know what to think. I mean, when her name was called I was scared and then I got really scared when they called mine,” He answered, “But you just never know when you’re going to go.”

My stomach had been churning all evening but right then it felt ten times worse. He had been doing fairly well and he probably wouldn't recover from that.

“What do you mean ‘going to go?” Vine asked.

"I want Rosemary to go home but that means I'm not going home. There can be only one victor after all."

What happened to him wanting to stop worrying about me? Was he just saying that to make Mom and Dad feel better back home or did he actually mean it?

"Would you look at that," Bacchus said. "True sibling love!"

The rest of the short interview was as tumultuous as the first half but none of what Fray really said stuck out. If I thought I had played with the Capitol people's feelings and subtly implied how I as feeling well then Fray was on a whole other level. Everything he said seemed to show his true feelings while also demonstrating the spite he felt towards them. I was jealous on how well he was able to do it and wished that I could have done the same. I was also angry that if he was able to put this much effort into the interview why hadn't he done it with the private training session?

When Fray entered the room after his interview ended there was a small smile on his face. I had thought that Claudia would be impressed by Fray's act since she seemed to hate the people of the Capitol so much but that couldn't be farther from the truth. As soon as she saw him walk through that door she blew up at him.

"How could you say those things?" She demanded. "Not everyone in the Capitol is stupid and they'll see right through you!"

"Claudia, you say to end things on my own terms if I wasn't going to follow your advice," Fray said. "I did just that."

She practically held him hostage at the side of the room and forced him to hear exactly how and where he went wrong with his interview. Fray on the other hand had other plans and just stood there smiling at her. Relina and I were too afraid to say anything so we crowded around the screen to watch the rest of the interviews. The interviews were all pretty standard, praising the capitol, talking about home and talking about their skills. That was the case until they got to the tribute from Eleven, Harvie. He wasn't massive by any means but I could tell he was strong just by looking at him. What bothered me most wasn't his strength but his eyes. There was something wrong about them that made me shudder.

“What do you think about being a part of the games since you got drawn in the last year you can be reaped?” Bacchus asked.

“If I wasn’t reaped I would’ve volunteered this year. I've always wanted to win the games and that hasn’t changed. I’m here to win by any means necessary.”

By any means necessary, that's what he said. That wasn't a good sign. 

CLOSEFILETITLED- INTERVIEW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes writing is the only thing that'll hold my attention and keep me from being anxious so I sat down this afternoon and worked on this chapter. That's why I was able to get it out quicker than I thought it would.


	12. And Now It Begins

OPENFILETILED- THERE AREN'T ANY WORDS

FILEOWNER(S): ROSEMARY

I can never watch the bloodbaths. Not of my own Game, the previous ones or of the ones where I had watched over the tributes. The anticipation nearly kills me as I watch them stand on the podiums waiting for the countdown to end because I know there's a high chance that many of them will die right then and there. They don't even get the chance to try and wait everything out. 

And the fear in their eyes. Oh god the fear. When tributes launch themselves onto another like a wild animal... 

I'm sorry I can't keep writing... Relina wanted me to write some sort of diary or note about my thoughts about the part of my life I'm talking about but sometimes I try and I just can't. 

There just aren't any words to describe how it makes me feel just to think about the bloodbaths. 

CLOSEFILETITLED- THERE AREN'T ANY WORDS

OPENFILETITLED- AND NOW IT BEGINS

FILEAUTHOR(S): ROSEMARY

I barely slept a wink that last night in the Capitol before the Games and when Claudia woke me up the next morning it felt like I had just drifted off to sleep. The entire night I was picturing the different ways I could die or the terrible things I had to do. Most of all I was scared for Fray since I knew it wasn’t going to be smart to look for him in the area. He had been such a constant fixture of my life that I just couldn't fathom what I was going to do without him. 

“Time to get up, we leave in an hour. You also have to wear that,” She said and pointed at the pile of clothes on a chair in the corner. 

I nodded and got up to take a quick shower. The complex dials and settings that had confused me so much suddenly seemed so comforting and familiar when I plugged in my normal settings. Would I be back using this shower after the Games or would there be no after? I pushed the thought out of my mind and scrubbed myself down quickly and brushed my teeth before going out into the main room. The clothes laid out for me consisted of a dark gray sweater, a belt and a pair of brown trousers with large pockets. There was also a pair of thick sockets and brown leather boots that lace tightly just over my ankles. 

When I stepped into the hallway after pulling my hair into a ponytail Fray was there was standing there awkwardly as well. They had him dressed up in a similar outfit but neither of us acknowledges that as we walked past the empty dining room to where Claudia and Relina are waiting for us. Relina looks close to tears but Claudia is nudging Relina in an attempt to silently tell her to stop. Relina gives each of us a hug and then goes back down the hallway to hide. I hoped that Relina's sadness wasn't a ploy or stemmed from one of the Capitol's strange notions about the Games. If her tears were real then it meant that just once person outside of our family's would actually remember us and would actually care.

"Are we going to eat breakfast together?" I asked apprehensively. 

I wanted so badly for there to be one little aspect of normalcy before we were led off to the slaughter.

“You’ll eat breakfast with your stylists before the game,” Claudia said curtly and led us to the elevator.

The once fast elevator of the training center felt unbearable slow as it made its ascent to the roof. When the elevator door opens a loud black helicarrior was already there waiting for us like some horseman of the apocalypse. Like our first day in the Capitol Fray and I climbed into it and sat down on opposite sides of the plane for the boys and girls. The tributes from the first seven districts were already there and in the next few minutes the rest of the tributes join us. We’re all jittery for one reason or another--Whether it be from fear, excitement, apprehension or some other emotion that I just couldn't place. The careers and strangely the boy from eleven are excited but for all the wrong reasons because the excitement was not out of nerves but out of happiness. I still don't understand why or how they could have been so happy about what was about to happen to them. 

The ride to the arena took what felt like an hour but there was no way to tell exactly how long the trip actually was. When we finally landed each tribute was escorted by a different pair of peacekeepers to our pregame room and I caught one last glimpse of Fray before turning the corner. The underground area we were being led through was like a labyrinth of black stone, metal grates and pipes which was the exact opposite of what I had expected. I'm not sure what I thought the pre-game areas below the arena would look like but it certainly wasn't that. My pre-game room was decorated more sparsely than the rooms of the Capitol all it contained was a set of table and chairs, a sofa and a clothing rod with a green multi-layered jacket hanging on it. Well those things and a circular platform towards the back of the room that would carry me into the arena.

No one was in the room and the mint colored walls felt like they were starting to cave in on me and the hum of the luminescent lights starts to seem louder before and I can hear the distant sounds of Peace Keepers running and shouting and... and... the door behind me opens. Romulous stood in front of the door in his usual suit and a neutral expression on his face. Did he care about me like Relina did or was I just a glorified mannequin to him? He took a seat at the table and gestured for me to join him which I tentatively do. He pushes a button underneath the table to order breakfast for us and within a few minutes an avoxx brings us a small platter of food. 

I felt almost too nauseous to eat anything but I still forced some food down. I wasn't sure if there would be food or water out in the arena or if the food and water that was there would be safe to consume so I know I should despite my nausea. If there was one thing I had learned from the days of food scarcity was that every bit helps. I also knew from my recent training that you could survive a while without food and the more you eat the longer you can extend that time. 

“You ready for this?” He asked.

“Not really.”

“Once you watch that countdown you better get ready,” He said.

"I know..." I whisper.

He looked down at his watch, let out a quiet sigh and stood up and took the jacket off its hanger. I read the clues and stood up and let him help me pull it on. I noticed that the jacket was heavier than I expected it would be as I zipped up the two layers and pulled my fingers through the fingerless gloves the lower layer had. Would I overheat in the jacket or would the layers not be enough? I had no way to know since some arenas were scorching hot while others were frozen tundras. 

“With the clothes you’re in I’d expect some pretty cold nights,” Romulous said and then he pulled my old necklace out of his pocket. “Here’s your token.”

My fingers felt like jelly and I struggled to put it on and to hide it underneath the neck of my sweater. I was just minutes away from going in there and I started to feel almost numb. It was like my body had come to some realization that my mind hadn’t quite caught up to yet. Romulous seemed to notice this feeling I had and guided me to the couch while I nibbled on a roll.

“I made sure Remus gave your brother his token.”

“Thanks, for everything I mean,” I said quietly.

“30 seconds,” The same mechanical voice from the training center read out.

I walked onto the platform and watched in awe as a clear tube descended over it. Romulous gave me a smile as the tube connects with the platform as if that would help me feel better. I waited for a few seconds before the platform began to rise and for a few minutes I was left in complete darkness. I felt even more claustrophobic than I had in the pre-game and that sense of pressure that accompanied it didn’t let up until I see sky and sunlight streaming down on me. When the platform came to a stop I heard the twittering of birds which was always a good sign. The other tributes were perched on top of other platforms in a circle around the golden cornucopia. To one side of us was a large body of water and on the other sides a forest of incredibly tall trees circled around us. 

I glanced around the cornucopia to where various supplies and bags were scattered. I caught a glimpse of a good backpack several feet behind me and looked around for some sign of Fray. He was looking at the center of the circle, then looked right into my eyes and shook his head. I could see the opening of the cornucopia and the massive boxes of supplies spilling out of it and I immediately knew what he was trying to say to me.   
`  
“Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the Twenty-Sixth Annual Hunger Games,” Brutus Marblesmith called out. 

"Thirty, twenty-nine, twenty-eight, twenty-seven, twenty six..." Another voice said as if reading from a script. 

I looked over at Fray again and our eyes met for just a second before we heard it. 

"Twenty, nineteen, eighteen, seventeen, sixteen, fifteen, fourteen..."

One of the tributes had stepped off their platform too early. 

"Thirteen, twelve, eleven, ten, nine, eight..."

There was a massive explosion and many of the tributes nearby were staring at the carnage left behind. The careers on the other hand looked for only a moment before turning their attention back to the cornucopia. Eyes on the prize as they say.

“Five, four, three, two, one,” A game maker droned on.

As soon as they called out that last number and a bell sounded I turned and ran. I could hear the screams and moans as tributes were slaughtered behind me. God, those sounds still make me want to scream and cry and throw up. The cold wind made my eyes to sting and when finally I reached the backpack I quickly pulled it on and started to run into the forest. That would be the safest place for me to be while the bloodbath was going on since I could just disappear. 

Suddenly the ground was rising to meet me and I flipped over to see the girl from four holding me down. Her eyes were filled with hate and her hand gripped a knife. Why was she holding out killing me? Why wasn't she holding down my hands I could easily take one of the knives off her belt! I quickly grabbed a knife from her belt and plunged it into her chest. Immediately warm blood began dripping onto my hands and sleeves. A look of surprise spread across her face and I almost expected the cannon to go off right there. Was she not dead? Was I prolonging her suffering? Were the other careers going to come find me and get revenge for their fallen comrade? Then it came back to me, cannons don’t go off for several minutes until the bloodbath is over. 

I shoved her off me and before the rest of the careers notice I quickly pull the satchel off her waist and take the three of her knives. I left the knife stuck her chest and still gripped tight in her hands behind me knowing that I would feel sick if I brought them with me. Then I turned and ran full speed into the forest until the sounds of the bloodbath began to fade away and be replaced by the sounds completely alien to me.

I hadn’t been in a forest before since the district was pretty much an endless city and the bits of small forest that existed next to the divides in the city were blocked by tall stone barriers with electrified fences and barbed wire. The best I could do was try to be as quiet as possible because the birds and mice back home were always startled when you were too loud near them.

According to what Claudia had told me once I got far enough from the blood bath I should start looking for water and a place to sleep at night. There wasn’t a stream in sight so for just a moment I decided to sit down on a rock and go through the supplies I had collected. The satchel I stolen from the girl from four only had a small amount of bandages and a meager supply of nonperishable food. The backpack I had gone for had a water bottle, some matches, a vial of iodine, a pair of gloves and some dried food.

Good, for at least today I didn’t have to worry about what I was going to eat. I dropped all of my supplies into my bag and made sure to wrap the knives in some wet leaves I found. This would work as a makeshift sheath and I put the smallest most blunt knife I had back into the bag. The two other knives I stole went in my belt so I could have them ready if someone found me.

As I walked by a large bush twenty minutes later I finally heard the cannons announcing how many tributes died in the bloodbath. The canons went off one after another without much pause so I frantically counted them over and over again to make sure I had gotten the number right. 

“One, two, three, four, five, six,” I whispered very quietly. 

Only six went off which meant Fray had a seventy five percent chance of being okay. I had no idea where he was right then or if the careers were cornering him right at that very moment and that scared me. It was killing me that I couldn’t see exactly who died had right then and there. I was so busy trying to get away from the cornucopia and ki...kill...dealing with the girl from four that I didn’t see who died.

The arena must have been huge because in the time until nightfall that I was looking there wasn't a single drop of water was in sight. I was very thirsty by then and I felt like it was pointless to keep looking late into the night. The sun was going down and I didn't know what kind of animals were out there. 

Eventually I found two trees close enough to each other that it formed a small alcove. I crawled in and pulled two slices of dried beef from the bag since it was past dinner time and I hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast. As I was finishing my final slice the national anthem played and the Capitol symbol appeared in the sky above me. The images of the dead were played in black and white above me. Both the tributes from three, the girl from four, the girl from five, the boy from nine and the boy from twelve. Then the music cut out entirely and I was left in silence. I had let out a sigh of relief when the face switched from the girl from five to the boy from nine, skipping our district entirely. 

“Where are you Fray?” I asked myself quietly. 

I felt terrible about doing what I did to that girl from four. I was sure she had parents to go home to and she could’ve lived a full life if I hadn’t ended it prematurely. That look in her eyes was terrifying and my immediate reaction was to kill her, not wrestle her off and run. I'd really sunk to the Game Makers level and killed a kid just like me. 

As I watched a small bug crawl across the tree opposite of me I began to cry. I had to force myself to do it quieter because the careers would be searching for new victims the entire first night. I was sure I’d be at the top of their list because I killed one of their teammates. 

When the tears had finally dried I pulled out the pair of gloves from my backpack and put them on. The night was freezing and I knew it was a bad idea to start a fire now. Smoke signals would draw people and predators to me like moths to a flame. Then I pulled my hood up and tried to get comfortable. Sleep was hard to come by in the arena but if I didn’t get any I would be at a disadvantage later on in a fight. Hearing myself think like this freaked me out as I drifted off. This whole situation had already changed me and it had barely begun. A lot of games last two weeks or more and it hadn’t even been twenty-four hours yet. 

Was I going to become something I didn't want to become? If I won I would be winning on their terms and not mine...

CLOSEFILETITLED- AND NOW IT BEGINS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't going to gloat but I've decided to do it anyway. I got in to my first choice university!
> 
> YEET


	13. Confrontation

OPENFILETITLED- HE WAS A DECENT GUY

FILEAUTHOR(S): ROSEMARY

During the Games you sort of have to convince yourself that the other tributes are evil in attempt to justify what you're going to have to do to survive. Sometimes I forget that even the Career tributes and the boy from Eleven were kids just like the rest of us because they seemed to not have any qualms with what they were doing. Looking back and after meeting their families most of the tributes were genuinely good people. They had lives before all the... those lives were cut short because some people wanted us to... for their sick entertainment. 

If I had met the boy from seven in any other circumstance than the one we were in I think we could've been friends. Cedar had three little sisters that he had to look after back home and he worked hard to make sure everyone got something to eat at night. He seemed like a really decent person and even though I never truly knew him it still upsets me to see the footage of him dying like that... 

He never stood a chance against the Game Makers. 

CLOSEFILETITLED- HE WAS A DECENT GUY

OPENFILETITLED- CONFRONTATION

FILEAUTHOR(S): ROSEMARY

I woke up to the view of massive amounts of bugs crawling on the tree opposite of me and for just a moment I was confused by what I was seeing. Why was I in a forest? I half-expected to wake up at home staring at the top bunk or maybe even in my room in the Capitol. That moment of realization came just a minute later and I felt sick. Everything had just happened and I was in an arena. Something I thought would never happen to me actually happened and wave of sadness washed over me. I might die. Then I was distracted by the tickle of something crawling up my leg. 

I looked down and saw several bugs on my legs and I started to panic. I quickly stood up, grabbed my bag and moved away from the two trees. They were practically covered in bugs moving in every direction. The bugs were brightly colored and moved in such a weird way that they almost didn't look like actual insects. I figured that these must have been muttations so I walked a good distance away and sat down. I pulled off the gloves and put them back in my bag. While checking my food supplies, which the bugs didn’t touch, I noticed bites on my hands. Out of panic I rolled up my sleeves and pant legs and there to greet me were more bites. I knew that it was never smart to scratch bug bites but I couldn’t help but scratch them. With every attempt to alleviate the itch it only got worse and became panful. 

It reminded me of a few years ago when our beds had become infected with disgusting bugs and their eggs. We rarely caught sight of them and we were all confused by the sudden blood stains on our blankets. Peacekeepers and workers from the Capitol rounded everyone up and made them change into clothes they provided before spraying down entire apartment buildings with chemicals designed to kill the bugs. Polly was scared the whole time but Dad just found it funny. I thought it was strange at the time but I was starting to understand why he laughed. They didn't actually care about our living conditions they just didn't want the insects to spread to the textiles we were making for the Capitol. 

I rolled up my sleeves and pant legs again and had to come up with a game plan on what to do today. The food supplies wouldn’t last forever and what would happen if the bites got infected? The Capitol wasn't there to intervene and help me get better and I guessed that they would have been okay if I got sick and died from the bites. I wasn't the best at hunting and I didn't have medical supplies so I decided to collect plants to eat and to treat the bites. It took me a minute to remember what types of plants there would be in this type of forest and I cursed myself for not spending enough time at the station that taught this sort of thing. Berries, the leaves of some plants and flowers were probably my best bet in that situation.

While mulling over my plans I heard a cannon in the distance and I stood up and drew my knife out of instinct. Did one of the Careers kill another tribute and were they close by? Was that Fray getting killed or just another tribute? There was a good chance that it wasn’t Fray but that didn't stop me from worrying that it was him. I had no way of finding out until that night and the sound of the cannon filled me with anxiety. 

I spent the better part of the morning collecting food and herbs and wrapping them in leaves I knew to be safe. By the time I finished I had a good supply of food and when combined with the food provided by the Game Makers it would last two or three days at the most. There wasn’t much to do other than collect or hunt for food, kill people or run from people trying to kill you and I felt oddly bored. That was the last thing I expected to be feeling in the arena and as tiring as my job at the factory was I missed it all of a sudden. At least there you could actually use your brain for something.

I heard trees rustling in the distance and the underbrush shifting in response to some movement but the noises weren't the kind that wind or an animal made but the kind a person made. I quickly drew out a knife and crept over in the direction of the noise which in hindsight was a really stupid decision. You should never approach noises like that they could have been caused by a muttation, regular predator or even a dangerous tribute. Limping toward me was the boy from seven and he looked like he had been stabbed in the stomach. I look down at his hands to check for weapons and saw that he was holding onto a hand fashioned axe. It didn't look nice or pretty like the factory made ones we kept back home to break down doors in the case of a fire but it was certainly sturdy enough in survival situations. 

“How’d you get that?” I asked, gesturing at the stab wound.

“How do you think I got it? Some psycho stabbed me,” He snapped. “I couldn’t even get a hit on him.”

“I’ll put my knives down if you put that axe down,” I said firmly. I wanted to avoid killing someone else if I had the chance.

“Fine, but you put the knives down first,” He coughed and a few droplets of blood came out of his mouth. 

I set my knives down slowly and raised my hands where he could see them. This was also a really stupid and risky choice but I was afraid of what would happen if I didn't agree to his terms. The boy nodded at me and slowly set the axe down but he flinched as he pulled himself upwards to look at me. When I got a better look at him I realized that he didn't look thirsty at all. He must have found water which was something I really needed right then since my mouth had become dry and my lips chapped. He was injured and I had bandages. If I gave him the bandages maybe he would tell me where to find water.

“Do you have bandages?” I asked.

“Do you?” He retorted.

“I have some bandages and I’ll give you some if you tell me where I can find water,” I offered.

“Just give them over,” He said through gritted teeth. 

I pulled the bandages from my bag and walked closer to him very slowly. I handed them to him and he slowly lifted his shirt revealing an infected looking stab wound and I knew for a fact that he won’t last long with something like that. Other tributes might have let him die of infection and I knew I probably should too but my conscious weighed on me. I quickly turned and pulled my herbs out of my bag. At first he must have thought I was going on to pull out some extra weapon since he reached behind his back for something but it when he saw the green leaves he dropped his arm.

“Here,” I said and hand him the plants. “Try these I heard they might help with infection.”

I knew those herbs were a longshot for him and I would probably need them later but he was in worse condition than I am. As long as I don’t scratch the bites shouldn’t get infected and I thought there wouldn't be any harm in giving him the herbs. They probably won’t even work with something that severe and I could tell myself that I had tried and that my effort just wasn't enough. 

“About a mile away from here that way,” He said and pointed in the opposite direction, “there’s a good stream.”

“Thanks,” I said, “and good luck.”

“You too.”

We both slowly picked up our weapons and walked past each other like nothing had happened. I immediately headed in the direction of the stream but I had to force myself not to run or walk too quickly. That would draw up a sweat and I needed to keep all the water in my system and if I was too loud it would attract other people's attention. About forty five minutes later I heard the sound of flowing water and I gave up on any effort of conserving the water in my system. I picked up the pace and when I reached the stream I heard the sound of a cannon. I stopped dead in my tracks and waited for something to happen. What I was waiting for I still have no idea.

I sat down and tried to calm my breathing. Could it have belonged to the boy from seven, some other tribute or even worse Fray? For a while I had been thankful of how large and dense this forest was since it was so large that the careers hadn’t found me yet and it was until the second day that I ran into someone. Now its size is practically a curse, I hadn’t found Fray and I had no idea who had died or not today.

Once I’d calmed down somewhat I pulled out the iodine and empty water bottle from my bag. I carefully dipped the bottle into the stream and added a few drops of iodine to purify the water. I closed the lid and shook the bottle slightly to make the iodine spread through all the water. While I waited for the water to purify I ate some of the berries I had collected. They wouldn’t last long off the vine but the food from the Game Makers would so I thought it was better to eat the berries first.

When I was sure the water was done and safe to drink I pulled open the cap. If water had a smell I think it would have made my mouth water. I was so thirsty but I forced myself to take sips and not overwhelm my body all at once. After I was sure my body could handle it I chugged the rest of the water. When I finished off the bottle I repeated the process of getting the water ready and I cleaned my face and hands. I stuck close to the stream the rest of the day and continued to walk around looking for medicinal herbs and a place to sleep that night.

As the sun was setting I found a large bush that could easily hide me if I curled up enough. So I crawled underneath and ate more of the food I had collected that morning. Once the sun was nearly down I never took my eyes off the sky. For a few minutes all I was only greeted with was the twinkling stars. Then the signature music played and two faces appeared in the sky before the music faded. The girl from nine and the boy from five. 

I was half glad that Cedar hadn’t died since he must have made that axe himself and the directions to the stream were invaluable. I was sure that I would stay near it and those bandages I gave up weren’t for nothing. I wondered if it was the careers that hurt him or some other tribute. At that point though I started not to care. Fray and I made it more than twenty four hours in the game. A lot of the tributes from our district didn’t even make that. We weren’t used to being around plants or nature and unless it was to make shelter which is pretty obvious our skills weren’t useful.

Right in the moment before I drifted off to sleep something dawned on me. Was it the boy from eleven that had attacked the boy from seven?

CLOSEFILETITLED- CONFRONTATION

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Rosemary is feeling her stomach drop, feeling sick and/or anxious a lot but in a life or death situation like that but she just doesn't have the experience/tools to handle the Games emotionally that Katniss did.


End file.
